Rachel's Ramblings

Memories of Christmas 2011

2011-12-28T10:00:00.000-08:00

Special memories of Christmas 2011 in no particular order:

Seeing two of my sons pass the Sacrament.

Hearing my eight-year-old on Christmas morning exclaim how well Santa knows her.

Christmas breakfast made by my eighteen-year-old daughter.

Sharing baby's first Christmas Eve hot tub experience.

Watching my husband build the 1870 detailed replica of a kitchen for our daughter.

Seeing the kids playing games together.

Watching my eight-year-old read her letter from Santa.

Finding just the right presents for my adult children that I knew they'd not only love but use.

Seeing my twenty-one-year-old son loving the cool jacket I picked out for him.

Receiving a pair of brown suede, high top, classic roller skates so I can float around the rink like I used to as a child. And so I can go to the track and skate while pushing my baby in her stroller.

Eating dinner and enjoying holiday traditions with all of my seven children together for the first time in two years (Well, actually, the first time ever since baby Lisbon was born the end of this past August, but it was the first time in two years that the other six were all here.)

Santa Present Mix-up

2011-12-27T15:01:00.001-08:00

My eight-year-old wrote the following letter to Santa. While she waited for a response, she quite accidentally discovered a present with her name on it from Santa, the day BEFORE Christmas. Oops! Thankfully, Santa (who had brought her a camera) explained the mix-up.

Dear Santa,

How are you? Can you please answer the questions below?

1. How old are you?
2. Do you love Christmas?
3. Was I good or bad?

I think that's all and here are some things I want to tell you. I'm learning a song about you. And I don't know if we are going to set up Christmas decorations and I want to ask you some more questions.

4. What time will you come?
5. How many presents will you give me?
6. Are you going to look into my room because if you do, do you like my bird’s nest?
7. How much candy will you give me?
8. Are you giving my friend Avi coal in her stocking because she doesn’t believe in you?
9. It is true that even if people don’t believe in you that you give them gum because you still want them to believe?
10. Is it true that if children have been naughty that you give them presents?

Well, I think that's it. I hope you don't get really tired by reading this letter, and writing back. I believe in you and also I know that on Christmas Eve you deliver letters and I wish that you would come sooner.

Goodbye,

from Liana

~~~~~~~~~~~~

December 24, 2011

Dear Liana,

Sorry I didn’t get this letter to you sooner. It has been very busy at the North Pole so I barely had a chance to write back before I took off to deliver presents. Usually, my elves help me write my letters, but I wanted to answer your letter personally this year to explain about the present I dropped off at your house a couple days before Christmas. I put it somewhere your parents would be sure to see it so they could peek inside and maybe let you use it for your Christmas Eve celebration. (Hopefully they weren’t too busy to see it. :-)

Here are the answers to the questions you asked:
1. I am 166 years old, but because of the magic that exists at the North Pole, I have the health of someone who is 50. My wife keeps me exercising during the year but for some reason I still have a big stomach. I eat a lot of cookies. My hands shake a bit, but I am doing really well besides that, especially for being this old.

2. Yes, I LOVE Christmas. I am so grateful to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, and that’s why I give presents to all the good children in the world. The wonderful presents He gave them of His life and atonement are far more important than what I could ever give, but I like to do my part.

3. Well, no one can be good every minute, but for the most part you were a good, helpful, and honest child. Being honest is very important to me and I always give extra points to children who tell the truth. I am so glad you were good and honest this year. Not all children are, you know. I can tell you have been trying very hard to be a good help to your mother. You are a lucky girl to have a little sister, and I know you are so happy about her coming into your family. I also know it’s a little hard sometimes, but you are very kind and loving toward her. I am proud of you for that (and that’s the real reason I delivered one of your presents early).

4. I visit houses only when the children are asleep. Usually I plan to come about three or four in the morning, but some houses I can visit earlier because I know the children are already asleep. So somewhere between midnight and four, I will come to your house.

5. I usually give good boys and girls one or two presents plus what is in their stockings.

6. I’m sorry. I probably won’t get a chance to look in your room because I have so many houses to visit. But I bet it looks a lot like the bird’s nest Rudolf found in the attic of the reindeer house. I like that one a lot.

7. Ho, ho, ho. By the time you receive this letter, you will already see how much candy!

8. Avi only pretends not to believe in me. She tries to make you and her brothers think she is cool by not believing, but inside she still believes. She has mostly been a good girl this year so I will bring her some candy for her stocking.

9. Sometimes I do put gum in unbelieving children's stockings. But not always. It depends if they are good, kind, and honest. Sometimes when kids don’t believe, I will try for a few years to help the understand the true meaning of Christmas and what it means to be Santa Clause. So I’ll give them presents and candy. But only if they have done good things.

10. If children are mostly bad and misbehaving and rude, I don’t bring them presents. But often their parents will still buy them presents.

Well, that was the end of your questions. That’s cool about the song that you learned about me. I hope you liked it. And no, I did not get tired reading your letter. I love your letters. I always read all the letters from children and I write back (or I tell my elves what to say because sometimes my hands get shaky). I am glad you believe in me, but mostly I am glad that you are helping your mother and saying your prayers and going to church to learn about Jesus, who is the most important thing about Christmas and all year long.

I love you. Merry Christmas!

Love, Santa Clause

Letter from

2011-12-27T15:01:00.000-08:00

Tell Me No Lies Available Now!

2011-12-22T16:26:00.000-08:00

I've been working really hard to get this book up on the Kindle for my readers before Christmas, and I made it in the nick of time! This is actually NOT the final cover, as the real one isn't quite finished, but the book has been ready for some time. Since I promised readers the book before Christmas, here it is! This is a fun, romantic suspense novel. Click here to buy it on Amazon. Enjoy!

Blowout at the Tabernacle

2011-11-28T15:42:00.000-08:00

Okay, I want to be clear from the outset that this post is going to obtain grossness. If you are a mom, you will completely understand and sympathize, but if you’re a teenager and possibly a dad, you might, well, not want to finish reading this. No worries, this is a G-rated blog but when you’re talking babies, it doesn’t get too much grosser than this.

It all started at Macey’s grocery store, where I’d gone to get my seventh-grader a birthday treat for his class. I had just enough time to dash into the store to choose a treat and maybe some little drinks to go along with it.

My newborn had other plans.

Lisbon’s an amazing baby, as I tell her dozens of times every day, and this day was no exception. She decided that it was time to make a mess, so she did. Very thoroughly, clear up her back and through all her clothes. Just as I got her out of her car seat.

I hadn’t brought a change of clothing.

What? You say? Is she crazy not bringing a change? Okay, it’s been a lot of years, and I’d forgotten babies did this. Or maybe I hoped that in the past eight years diapers had gotten better. They haven’t.

I had a choice. Go home without a birthday treat, change the baby and pick up my children, and have to repeat the trip to the store another day (we were already one day late because I’d forgotten, which is understandable seeing as I was busy having a baby). The second option was to change the baby’s diaper, wrap her in her tiny receiving blanket, and run inside.
I chose to go inside because I didn’t know if I’d make it to the store again that week (or out of the house for that matter, and I didn’t want to disappoint my son. I couldn’t just carry Lisbon in the car seat and cover her because she hates her car seat and would cry and fuss and kick that blanket off faster than she can soil a diaper. And though it was warm, I didn’t think people would look too kindly on me taking a nearly naked newborn into the store. (Nearly naked newborn—try saying that five times as fast as you can.)

I chose to go into the store. Using a ton of wipes, I cleaned her up (and up and up) and went into the store. Having only one free hand, I stuck a large box of Oreos in my diaper bag, and carried another one in my hand. The baby struggled, not pleased with being so tightly wrapped, but I managed to keep the blanket on. I paid for the boxes and ran to the car.

Crises averted. I made it home in time to dress her quickly and get to the school. Lisbon was none the worse for wear. She screamed most of the way to the school (did I mention she really hates her car seat?), but we made it in one piece and I was able to soothe her quickly when we arrived.

Fast forward to when Lisbon was six weeks old. I was on a field trip with my daughter’s third grade class to Temple Square. (Yes, I’m one of those paranoid mothers who won’t let her rambunctious eight-year-old go on field trips without her supervision.) They had the great opportunity to talk to the organist there about Bach and to eat lunch before attending a short concert. My husband came along to help me look after the children in our care in case I had to duck out to feed our baby.

Everything went smoothly until the middle of the concert. I sat way in the back all alone so I could nurse the baby with my nifty nursing cover, and as I finished, Lisbon had another incident. She’d soaked her undershirt, her top, and the blanket.

Fortunately, I’d learned from the Macey’s incident, and I had a change of clothing. But I hadn’t seen a bathroom and I had no idea where to go. Plus, I had to help with the children sitting rows in front of me, and I didn’t want to become separated from them or my husband who was sitting with them.

So I did what any experienced mother would do. Forgetting I had a changing pad to lay her on (I never used one with my other six), I set her on her burp cloth and stripped her. Fortunately, it wasn’t cold in the tabernacle, but I can’t say that for the wipes—and I had to use a lot of them to get her clean. My amazing baby didn’t so much as let out one peep as I washed her entire back and changed every stitch of clothing. Rather disconcerting to see a completely naked baby on a bench in the tabernacle, but I since that was the way she was born, I knew it wouldn’t offend anyone looking down on us from heaven.

Using my finely honed mothering skills (actually, I felt like I was all thumbs), I swiftly redressed the baby, leaving off the undershirt as the last song was finishing and Lisbon had a look on her face that told me even she’d had enough.

I finished just as the children came up the aisles. Whew!

Lisbon is now three months old. Needless to say, we have several of these experiences every week, sometimes twice in a day, and once three times, though usually it’s at home. With each adventure, my husband and I just laugh. Hindsight with our six older children (ages 8 to 21) tells us that we are the luckiest two people in the entire world to have the chance to raise one more amazing baby.

Lisbon's Birth

2011-09-03T12:54:00.000-07:00

Well, by now most everyone already knows I had my daughter. Lisbon Makayla Nunes was born on Tuesday August 30 at 2:41 PM. She weighed 6 lbs and 13 oz and was 18 1/2 inches long. Her parents, five of her six siblings, her maternal grandmother, and her Aunt Mary were all there to welcome her into the world. She was greatly anticipated and celebrated by all, but especially by me, her mother, as it was a long and difficult pregnancy.

I actually began labor in the early morning the Thursday before with pain as real as any I'd ever experienced with my six other children. I told the children Lisbon was coming that day, and one of my daughters didn't go into work. We were all excited. Then things stalled, and I slowed to two contractions an hour, some of which were painful and some of which were not. I was only dilated to a two. I chalked it up to false or pre-labor, though I'd never experienced painful false labor before.

The entire weekend proceeded without change. By Sunday I was only three dilated, and I was frustrated. After all the ONLY reason I was going to the hospital to have Lisbon was so I could have an epidural and Pitocin, and what was the point if I was going to have to experience so many painful contractions before I even got there? But school was beginning for my two youngest children on Monday, so I didn't push the issue. I did worry about poor Lisbon getting squished for so long. If she didn't move for a bit, I would drink juice and wake her up. I was terrified that horrible would happen to her, and after all that I'd been through, that almost pushed me over the edge.

The contractions continued all Monday, two or three an hour. We had scheduled Tuesday for induction, so that was my light at the end of the tunnel. Early Tuesday morning the contractions had increased to five or six in an hour. Most were so painful I had to breathe through them. When the hospital called to tell me to come in, I was more than ready. I hurried through last-minute arrangements for my other children.

At seven-thirty we arrived at the hospital. I was dilated to a four and was 70% effaced. Definitely in labor, but again the contractions had slowed to two every hour. I was convinced that my age was working against me and that my uterus was simply too tired to finish the job. The midwife suggested doing the labor without Pitocin but even when I was younger I would have taken another 24 hours to give birth, and I was already exhausted.

It took until nine to get the epidural and pitocin going. The contractions were still stalled though. A check three hours later at noon showed I wasn't even dilated to a five! I was 80% effaced, but that gave me little comfort. My mother arrived, and so did three of my older children. My sister showed up a bit later with the two youngest, whom she'd checked out of school. The waiting began in earnest. One of my daughters had to work later, and she was afraid she'd miss the birth. She was already missing a college class to be there.

At two I was still a five, but 90% effaced. The midwife was confused at the slowness and asked the nurse about the level of the Pitocin. They upped it a bit. After about fifteen minutes, I could actually feel the contractions (which still hurt less than the false labor I'd been having so I didn't feel the need to boost the epidural). I'd felt all along that I was too numb because if you can't feel anything, how can you tell when you feel ready to push?

Twenty more minutes passed. Finally I was having regular contractions. I continued to pay close attention to my daughter's heartbeat, making sure she was all right. Then with one contraction, the heartbeat disappeared. I found it seconds later by moving the little monitor on my stomach lower. It happened twice more and, worried, we sent my sister for the midwife. She came back in and reassured us that everything was all right. My mother, a lay midwife, recommended that she check me because something had obviously changed. I agreed.

Minutes later the midwife's face showed surprise. I was fully dilated and ready to go! She hurried out to get the nurse. She also called the nursery for the breathing specialists because she had decided the amniotic fluid was a little dark. I was so upset at this because if they are called to a birth, they get the baby first instead of the mom. Grrr. I KNEW my baby was fine and I wanted her first. And I'd fight them for her! They were not going to stick an unnecessary tube down her nose.

The midwife and nurse hurried in, and I told them them the baby was coming NOW. "Can't you wait a minute?" the midwife asked. Uh, no. I absolutely couldn't. I wasn't pushing, it was the Pitocin, which, they should have turned off by that point if they wanted to slow things down. I could feel that my daughter was already coming out.

Sure enough, my husband pulled back the sheet and there was a bit of our daughter's head. The nurse shoved on her gloves and hurried over to help the baby out while the midwife dived for her gloves. In the next minute, my baby was on my stomach, but the cord was short so I couldn't bring her up to my chest. She was screaming. I calmed her, but the nurse said to let her cry a bit in case anything was in her lungs. I talked to my daughter and told her everything was fine, that she was fine.

My husband cut the cord and finally I could hold my daughter. She had calmed and her color looked great. The nurse rubbed her down with warm receiving blankets while I cuddled her. The breathing specialist showed up but left almost immediately when the learned the baby was already there and (of course) breathing perfectly on her own. Minutes later, Lisbon was nursing vigorously, content but alert.

I worried a little that in the end it had all happened too fast—going from five dilated to giving birth in 41 minutes, but Lisbon seemed fine. She had all her parts, was alert, her vitals were perfect, and as the doctor from Fetal Maternal Medicine predicted, you couldn't tell by looking at Lisbon's back that she has a hemivertebra. While that's definitely something we will have to check into later, it's is NOT something requiring immediate attention or something that will delay her physical progress. No sign, either, of any of the 100 syndromes that are usually attached to an extra half vertebra, something the FMM doctor worried our daughter might have even though she could pick up no signs of one on the many ultrasounds. If I'd never had an ultrasound, as I didn't with my first four natural births, I would never have known about the hemivertibra until it caused Lisbon pain in later life, if it ever caused pain.

The minute Lisbon was out, I began wondering how fast I could get out of the hospital. I wanted my own bed and to be left alone with my precious baby. I'd already told everyone I wanted to leave ASAP, and my midwife had set the wheels in motion. We had to wait for my regular family doctor to come and do a baby check (rolling my eyes—he was in the room two minutes) before we could go home. At 7:09 PM we were driving away from the hospital. My right leg was still a little numb from the epidural, and I wouldn't be able to walk around with the baby in my arms for a bit, but I knew that would pass.

We stopped off for my favorite strawberry-Oreo shake on the way home. It was really good, and I felt great. Of course I was under the influence of over-the-counter Ibruprofen, but still I felt MUCH better than I'd felt in most of the past eight months.

Two days later, we had a rather terrifying fever scare with Lisbon, which had me back to wondering if I'd endured these past eight horrible months only to lose her to some unnamed syndrome or complication after all. But an internal temperature check showed she was within a proper range. I nixed my plans to go to church that Sunday. Lisbon needs to be a little older before she is around a crowd and even then people outside the family aren't supposed to hold her until she's a month old.

I'd stopped taking the Ibruprofen after a few days, but when my milk came in, I had to take it again because the afterbirth contractions picked up again. I'd also developed a bit of a sore throat and a hoarse voice. With this and the huge cysts of milk that have formed in my breasts and under my arms, it looks like I'd better keep taking it for a while. As long as I remind myself to take it easy, I might as well FEEL halfway good. I also have to be very careful of mastitis, since I'm prone to the infection. I'll know in a few days if I've been successful enough to avoid antibiotics, which is my goal. That and making sure Lisbon doesn't get my cold. So far so good. Lisbon is much more content now that she has plenty of milk. She nursed for about eighteen hours out of every twenty-four the first few days—apparently that's what it took for her to feel satisfied with only the colostrum. Now she's content between nursings for two to three hours. She even lets her siblings hold her a minute or two without crying for me. :-) I actually slept last night between and through nursing, an old skill I'm picking back up quickly.

It's over—the long months of waiting and the complications and pains of pregnancy at forty-five. It was ALL worth it. I have my precious reward, and I am enjoying every second of being with her. I can sit and stare at her for hours. In fact, that's pretty much all any of us do around her (you should see how her father dotes on her already). She is a miracle. My miracle. And I'm so grateful to enter this new phase with her.

Picture for Posterity

2011-08-23T09:20:00.000-07:00

After multiple requests, I finally succumbed and had my husband take this picture of me for posterity’s sake. I don’t know if Lisbon will care to see what I looked like carrying her (my other six children don’t seem to care all that much), but this picture will be available if she wants to see it. People who know me will barely recognize me with my puffy face and arms and . . . everything. Ugh. Not my best, but here it is.

Incidentally, my newest book, Before I Say Goodbye, is due out September 3rd, so I will have a new baby and a new book all within a week. I know I’m going to enjoy my baby, and I hope you all enjoy the book!

Update #2 on Baby Lisbon

2011-08-22T09:00:00.000-07:00

Well, I’ve had four non-stress tests (NSTs) since I last wrote, which means a month has passed since my first update. We are now very close to holding our baby in our arms. If Lisbon does not make an appearance by herself this coming weekend (26-28th), we will induce labor on August 30th. I’d really rather her come on her own, despite how miserable I am, but they worry about me going later because of my age and possible placenta problems.

My last NST on Thursday was during Lisbon’s sleepy time. They had me drink two cups of juice and used a vibrator to wake her up. After that, she was bouncing off the uterus walls. Poor thing. She has been constantly active most of the time, so I wasn’t really concerned about her sleeping, but my AFI (amniotic fluid index) had gone down by half in only one week—it’s now 8, down from 16. Though 8 is not terrible, the midwife would rather see it at least between 10 and 12 at this stage. A too-low AFT can indicate fetal stress, and the drop means I have to go in earlier this week for the NST. If it sinks to a 5 they will likely recommend induction. So I’m drinking lots of fluids and resting, which is the only thing I can do to increase the AFI. Since amniotic fluid levels can change hour to hour, depending on how much fluid is in the baby’s bladder or stomach, the picture could be quite different when I go in on Wednesday.

At any rate, this is my last week for appointments! The little contractions I’ve been feeling for the past two months have stepped up, and several times since last Tuesday I suspected I was going into labor—only to have them fizzle out. Frustrating. I’ve never had false labor contractions that actually felt like real labor before. Now I understand why many women confuse the two. I worry that after six full-term babies, my body has forgotten how to do real contractions. Or maybe I simply don’t have enough muscles left in working order to do the job spontaneously. At any rate, I know I’ll need Pitocin because my four natural labors were between 25 and 29 hours, something I’m not willing to repeat. I have a friend whose longest labor was 4 hours. Four hours! I could do that naturally. Or even 7. But 29? Well, let’s just say you don’t even know which way is up by that time. That means Pitocin and an epidural are definitely in my birth plan.

That’s the news. I am swollen and pretty miserable. I sleep much of the day and am in bed or on the couch for the rest. I try to force myself out to the pool a few times a week because I can actually swim a bit and all the leg and abdomen pain disappears, but going out there requires a motivation I sometimes can’t find. Getting two kids ready to leave for college and three others for school has also been a challenge. I’m so grateful for the Internet and online purchasing. I also discovered that if I use a motorized cart in the store (how embarrassing!), I can go shopping without having to sit down in the aisle to rest or coming home in tears. As long as I bring a child to help me put things in and out of the cart, that is.

I had a couple meltdowns last week because, well, it seems like it’s never, ever going to end. Each day stretches out before me like a month (even with all the sleeping). But I’ve had a lot of support from family and friends. Last week my ward brought dinner in twice, and they plan to do it again this week. I’d declined several offers to hold a baby shower (I’m just too old and besides, I feel rather unsocial right now), but one day last week some people in my ward did a diaper drop at my house. First, three packages arrived mysteriously on the doorstep, and then two more. After that my eight-year-old would go outside to check the front door every so often and come running upstairs to my bedroom with yet another package of diapers. By that night we had 14 packs of diapers, and a few more trickled in later. I ended the week with 20 packs of diapers, 4 packs of wipes, 4 burp cloths, two rattle-type toys, two pacifiers, two outfits, three sleep ’n plays, and some onesies. Finding all those diapers and having them arrive so steadily was a lot of fun and certainly took my mind off my torture. It was an unanticipated kindness that I am very grateful for.

Meanwhile, I keep forging on. Nothing else I can do but to take one day or even one hour at a time. This last week is going to be tough, but I know it will be worth it. As I’ve said time and time again in my books: Nothing worthwhile is ever easy, but it is so worth it in the end.

Related Posts:
Part 1: The Secret is Out
Part 2: The Decision
Part 3: A Troubling Diagnosis
Part 4: Preparing for Lisbon
Update on Baby Lisbon

Update on Baby Lisbon

2011-07-22T16:29:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling physically a lot better this week, but the three L's have set with in a vengeance. I'm lethargic, listless, and, well, lazy. I just want to sleep all day, which totally goes against all my instincts. I'm not really sure what to do about it, though. I've decided to take baby steps. A few paragraphs on my novel here, a load of laundry there, answering an e-mail between naps. It's slow going.

Yesterday I went to my appointment with the nurse midwives. Just a routine visit, but the midwife told me Lisbon was transverse, which was odd, since she's been head down for months. I'd felt that she was in a slightly different position because she wasn't kicking as much when I try to lie on my right side but to have turned completely sideways? That would be unusual for me.

So when I arrived home, I looked up what I could do about her being transverse and began worrying (that seems to be the primary pastime of expectant mothers). I'd been told once before (baby number 4) that my unborn child was breech a few days before delivery, and they'd been absolutely wrong, so my husband told me they were wrong again. He's good about not worrying before it's time to really worry. (Then again, he's not the one with the pregnancy hormones coursing through his body.)

After reading on the Internet, I forced myself to go outside in the pool and stand in the water on my head (well, hands, really). Just a few times. Nothing very long. I didn't feel Lisbon react at all. I think she was taking a nice nap (which is what I wanted to be doing).

Needless to say, today when I went to my appointment at the hospital with Maternal Fetal Medicine for my regular ultrasound, I was interested in what they would say about Lisbon's position. I also told them about the little Hispanic man who'd come up to me in Walmart where my husband and I had gone last Friday night to buy our eight-year-old a birthday present. He asked me what my baby was and when I told him, he said that, no, the baby was a boy and he was never, ever wrong, so I should prepare myself for a boy.

Okay. Never mind that four different women (three ultrasound technicians and a doctor who is a fetal specialist) had told me she was a girl in four separate ultrasound appointments, I was supposed to believe him. My husband laughed, but I didn't find it amusing. (I think pregnancy stole some of my sense of humor.) It was just weird having a total stranger come up and address me so familiarly.

Anyway, the ultrasound (with a technician I hadn't seen before) showed me a healthy 5.1 pound baby girl (emphatically a girl) with her head down, way down. The technician doubted she had ever moved but the doctor said with the ample fluid I had and after having so many children that it was possible. She couldn't say one way or another, but she did say that it was no big deal. If Lisbon did turn the wrong way, she'd turn her back. I guess it's something she does a lot in her profession.

The doctor took a lot of pictures of my daughter's spine. We could see the extra vertebrae, but even she admitted that it no longer seemed to make any difference in the curvature of Lisbon's spine. At every ultrasound, the curve we'd seen originally seemed to be less and less to me and this was confirmation. (Could it be all the extra folic acid I'm taking? You never know.) The doctor said it would be interesting if Lisbon's pediatrician could detect anything odd in her spine after her birth, and she made me promise to come back and tell her because this is the first time she's ever seen an isolated hemivertebrae (usually the condition is NOT isolate and accompanied with multiple birth defects).

Lisbon was doing so well that the doctor skipped the stress test today, and she said we didn't need anymore ultrasounds at all. The spine will definitely not be an issue for the birth or the after care. All we need to worry about now is my age and the weekly stress tests will show if there is any reason to induce labor early. Good news all the way around!

Related Posts:
Part 1: The Secret is Out
Part 2: The Decision
Part 3: A Troubling Diagnosis
Part 4: Preparing for Lisbon
Update #2 on Baby Lisbon

Part 4: Preparing for Lisbon

2011-07-12T08:00:00.000-07:00

One day sometime after the ultrasound, I had a horrible thought. I had absolutely no preparations in place for a baby. We’d given everything babywise away long ago. Where we now stood, my little girl would be coming home from the hospital completely nude! Provided they let me leave with her since I didn’t have a car seat.

I rested up for days and finally dragged myself and my seventeen-year-old daughter to the store to pick out a few sleepers. I only had to sit on the floor once or twice to make it through the shopping experience, but I came home with three sleep and play outfits, a dress, socks, a receiving blanket, and a baby blanket. Later my husband grabbed some newborn diapers from Macy’s when he went to buy food. I still need to pick up some white tights, and a long sleeved white shirt for under the dress, but come what may, our daughter will leave the hospital clothed! I should also order a car seat online, but we need a swing, a stroller, and a high chair as well so I want to do it all at once. It’s a little overwhelming.

May and June brought relief from the nausea, and I cracked down, finally able to finish my novel. I was still spending most of the day working from my bed on my laptop. If I did get up, I had to wear support nylons for the varicose and other vein problems in my legs. Exhaustion was a constant battle, and sometimes I'd fall asleep in the middle of a paragraph. But I eventually finished writing Final Call, the third novel third in the Autumn Rain series. First book I ever wrote completely from my bed. Age really does make a huge difference, even for a normally healthy, active person like me.

The end of June finally brought warm weather—a mixed blessing. The heat made my legs swell even more, and I began retaining water as though storing a year supply. I couldn't wear rings, my face was bloated, and I couldn’t be on my feet for more than ten minutes without serious discomfort. Only a big nightgown was comfortable to wear. At the same time, my pool was ready for swimming and in it I found absolute relief! There is nothing for sore legs like floating in water. No pain, and I can barely feel the extra forty pounds. And with all the extra fat and water, I don't have to do anything to stay afloat. I just have to make sure I don't fall asleep while floating. :-)

Now it’s July and more of the same. Except now we’re on a serious countdown for Lisbon to make her appearance, and WE CAN’T WAIT! My eight-year-old kisses my stomach so many times a day, it makes me laugh. The lovely Braxton Hicks contractions have kicked in big time, so my body is also getting ready for Lisbon's debut.

I’m doing okay. Really. You can find me either in bed or on the couch writing or sleeping, making food for my children (I'm so grateful for my microwave!), or floating in the pool. If I get desperate, and no one else can go, I may hobble to the store for milk and something to throw into the oven. More likely I’ll send my husband or daughter. For now, everything else is on hold. And that's okay with me.

Part 1: The Secret is Out
Part 2: The Decision
Part 3: A Troubling Diagnosis
Part 4: Preparing for Lisbon

More related posts:
Update on Baby Lisbon
Update #2 on Baby Lisbon

Part 3: A Troubling Diagnosis

2011-07-11T08:00:00.000-07:00

Less than a week after learning I was expecting, I came down with chronic bronchitis and sinusitis. I spent all of January and February sick and unable to really take anything to alleviate the symptoms because of the pregnancy. No way was I going to risk my baby, not after what I'd been through last year. I kept a close eye on my fever and only took the approved medicine if I absolutely had to.

I rarely left my bed except to use the bathroom. I had to cancel or refuse any speaking engagements. The only good thing about being so ill was that the sickness overshadowed the normal pregnancy nausea, and on the few days I felt a bit better, I was able to finish the remaining two chapters of the novel I had to turn in at the end of January. Only four of my six children lived at home then, and my seventeen-year-old and my fourteen-year-old suspected something, so in February I told them what was going on, and they helped out a lot.

After three months I went in to the midwives and heard the heartbeat. Only then did I tell the younger kids about the baby. I didn’t tell anyone else, and I asked my family to keep the baby a secret until the ultrasound said everything was all right. I didn't want to make an announcement and then have to later report bad new. I did only one speaking engagement for the YW in my own ward, and fortunately I was blessed to make it through. One week I felt well enough to clean my office, a little at a time. Took me three days and my office is really tiny, so you can imagine how that went. I would actually never write there during my pregnancy as I was too ill to actually sit in the chair.

March and April I also spent mostly in bed. I was still fighting the cough, and the nausea became so terrible I only got up to pick up kids from school or to get them food. The couple times I went to the store, I ended up in bed suffering for the next two days. I rarely made it to church and then only part of the meetings. Sometime in April, I learned if I ate breakfast, got the kids off to school, went back to sleep until eleven, and then ate again, I sometimes had a hour or two where I wasn’t feeling like I was going to die. I started writing another book. It was horribly slow going, but it was something to distract me and make me feel like I was contributing at least something to the world.

I told my sister Mary and my mother about the baby shortly before the ultrasound but again asked them not to say anything until we had the results. Unfortunately, the ultrasound dropped a huge bomb: our daughter had a extra vertebra on one side in her lower back. Though there seemed to be no sign of anything else wrong and it wasn't severe, we would need more testing at the hospital (Maternal Fetal Medicine) to determine what that meant.

As we waited for the appointment, I learned that in nearly 89% of babies who have this condition also have some other severe spinal, cranial, or skeletal problem. Many die before the end of the pregnancy. All my fears seemed to be coming true. How could this happen after so much turmoil and stress when we were deciding whether or not to have another child? (See Part 2: The Decision)

My husband gave me a blessing, which promised a healthy baby. I kept repeating to myself the words I’d heard before the pregnancy: “Go forward in faith not in fear.”

Thankfully, after more tests, the specialist said my baby’s hemivertebra was isolated and that she didn’t seem to have any of the hundred syndromes that are usually present. This isolated hemivertebra happens in only 1 out of 4,000 babies. The hemivertebra wouldn’t affect her quality of life, though our daughter may or may not need minor surgery later. What relief!

I had to go back monthly to Maternal Fetal Medicine for additional ultrasounds to keep an eye on the vertebra and because of my age. Every time, it seemed her spine was more and more normal, but that might be just my perception. I have to confess that it has been nice having that wonder female doctor reassure me each time that nothing new has cropped up. Now I have to go weekly to the hospital for fetal stress tests (because of my age, not the vertebra) to make sure Lisbon is still getting what she needs.

So, I was surviving day to day, but I could do that. We were having a baby!

Stay tuned for Part 4 coming soon.

Part 1: The Secret is Out
Part 2: The Decision
Part 3: A Troubling Diagnosis
Part 4: Preparing for Lisbon

More related posts:
Update on Baby Lisbon
Update #2 on Baby Lisbon

Part 2: The Decision

2011-07-10T09:00:00.000-07:00

Having a baby is always a big decision, but when you already have six children, three of whom are living away from home or will be by the time the baby is born (I have one married daughter, and two children at BYU), and your youngest will be eight before the birth, it is a significantly larger decision. From health to emotional issues, there’s no end of debate.

Early in 2010, we had the surprise of finding out we were expecting. Unplanned. We stepped up to the plate, though, and started changing all our plans for the future. I was so ill I didn’t know how I was going to make it through. I spent all day every day in bed. The entire burden of family fell to my poor husband, who was the epitome of support. I dragged myself from bed only to pick up my children from school (every other week). I couldn’t work on my novels at all. All this only to lose the baby right after reaching three months. I spent nearly another month in bed with the recovery. That was enough to teach anyone a lesson that having a child at my age (no, I’m not confessing exactly what that is) was not wise.

Time wore on and I couldn’t stop thinking about the baby and that perhaps this was God’s way of sending me a message. Life was easy now that I wasn’t ill, but these thoughts persisted. I felt torn between what I had wanted before the pregnancy and what I wanted after (for the baby to have lived). It’s one thing to lose a child you planned for and wanted, and something quite different to lose a child you hadn’t planned on and even to some extent resented. The guilt is far larger and all-encompassing. I talked briefly to my husband, who’d taken the loss of the baby quite hard, but he didn’t think we should try again. He didn’t want A baby, he’d wanted THAT baby. He also never wanted to see me so sick again.

Weeks passed and still I was in limbo. After confessing my turmoil to a friend Anita Stansfield, she advised me to make a decision about whether or not to have a baby and own it as though it was my final decision. Then to wait some weeks as I adjusted to the plan. If I found it wasn’t right after all and I was still in turmoil, I could change my mind. So I decided to have a baby. I’d always wanted five or seven children and had ended up with six, so another baby would give me that odd number I’d wanted. Not to mention fill the loss I was experiencing.

In the weeks that followed, I researched older mothers and babies in an effort to own my decision. Since we were heading to Portugal for a month, I decided to wait until we returned to act on my decision. But the more time passed and the more I read, I realized I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t risk that something would be wrong with my baby because I was older. I wasn’t so worried about risks to myself—though in hindsight and with what I’ve gone through, that should have been more important to me—but I didn’t want to condemn a child to living with a severe birth defect because I couldn’t control my grief.

I eventually decided that my first decision had been in error. So I made the other choice. Before that last pregnancy, I hadn’t planned on another child, and I’d been happy and content. I could be that way again. It was the wise and responsible thing to do. All my old plans could fall back into place.

Months passed. I finished deadlines, regained all my health. Physically I was doing great. Mentally I was still troubled. The thought of that child, who I imagined was a little girl, never left me. I did more research, and all along I kept taking prenatal vitamins just in case. Eventually, I realized I wouldn’t find peace unless I at least tried to have that child. Still I was afraid of birth defects and of losing another baby. Then one day I was driving in the car and in my head I heard the words, “Go forward in faith not in fear.” Those words pierced me because by this time the only reason I didn’t want to become pregnant was because I was afraid.

More time passed, and though I wasn’t doing much to prevent pregnancy, I still wasn’t expecting. I continued in turmoil, my fear of becoming pregnant and the possible outcome as great as my fear of not getting pregnant. Only when I remembered the words did the fear leave and I felt peace.

So why wasn’t I expecting? In our family we joke that to become pregnant, all we needed to do was to wash our clothes together. Then one day I had a prompting: Talk to your husband. I thought What? What did he have to do with this? Oh, that’s right. He’s the father. I’d started several times over the months to tell him my feelings, but with the trip to Europe followed by a daughter’s wedding, time had always escaped me. So I went to him and recounted everything I’d been thinking and doing.

He looked at me and said, “So, it looks like we're having another baby.”

I reminded him that he’d said he didn’t want another child the last time I’d brought it up. He shrugged and said, “I didn’t know everything you’ve been going through. If you think we should have a baby, let’s do it.”

Oh. Hmm. Okay. I had the sense that he was far more worried about me physically than whether or not to have a child. He’s like that.

Oddly enough, after a week, the desire, the push, the insane turmoil abruptly vanished. I went to my husband and said, “You know. I think I’m okay. I don’t think I need to have a baby after all.”

He laughed and said if that was how I was feeling, that was okay by him.

Yes, you guessed it. I was already expecting. I took a test the day before Christmas 2010 and it was positive. Now we only had to wait to see how it would turn out. Every time the fear returns, I remember the words about fear versus faith, and I push forward. At this point, I am completely living on faith.

Click on Part 3 to read more.

Part 1: The Secret is Out
Part 2: The Decision
Part 3: A Troubling Diagnosis
Part 4: Preparing for Lisbon

More related posts:
Update on Baby Lisbon
Update #2 on Baby Lisbon

Part 1: The Secret is Out

2011-07-08T11:37:00.000-07:00

I’m not going to make you read a whole page before I blurt it out—I’m going to have a baby next month in August. That’s the secret.

I’m not sure how it became a secret at all. Well, first I wanted to make sure it was really going to happen because last year we had a huge disappointment. I didn’t want the kids upset again, and I didn't want to go through any more "public" mourning. So my husband and I decided to wait three months to see if there was still a strong heartbeat before telling them. Because I was so ill, I did end up having to confide a bit earlier in my middle children (17 & 14), but even that I delayed as long as possible. We waited until the four-month ultrasound before we told the extended family. After that, the secret seemed to take on a life of its own.

It was cold into June, so I wore a jacket whenever I had to drag myself from my bed. No one noticed my growing stomach. It “helped” that I seemed to contract every sickness available to mankind, so I was (still am) in bed most of the day, even after the nausea finally left right before six months (or mostly left). When I reached the mark that the midwife told me my baby really could survive if she had to be born, I realized I could finally tell people.

But after that, well, I was kind of embarrassed. How do you announce to your friends and neighbors that, by the way, you’re going to have a baby next month? Besides, these days many couples my age and younger don’t have more than four children and while some of my peers still have children at home, they are all in high school. My youngest right now is eight and this baby makes number seven, so I kind of feel like the odd-ball out (and maybe even a little greedy). Last year when I was expecting, one man in my neighborhood told us to “keep it on your side of the street.” (I'm sure it was a joke, but is pregnancy a disease?)

I’ve gained forty pounds, some of it water in my legs that makes it difficult to walk, and I also did something to my knee that makes every step torture. I don’t even want to get into the support nylons and the veins problems that prevent me from being on my feet for more than ten or fifteen minutes at a time. Any of you who’ve had more than five or six children might have some inkling as to what I’m talking about.

Last week I was feeling well enough to go to church for part of the time (yay!). It was hot and I didn't wear a coat. Two women noticed my stomach and said something. A few just stared. Surprise! Everyone who has talked to me so far has been really sweet and supportive.

So, yes, I’m having a baby. A little girl. Her name is Lisbon. She never lets me sleep at night, especially if I try to lie on my right side. She hates fireworks, but she likes being rocked—most of the time.

If you’re curious what brought about this momentous decision at this time in my life, continue to Part 2. I have divided this series into four parts:

Part 1: The Secret is Out
Part 2: The Decision
Part 3: A Troubling Diagnosis
Part 4: Preparing for Lisbon

More related posts:
Update on Baby Lisbon
Update #2 on Baby Lisbon

The Toughest Job in the World

2011-05-08T12:42:00.000-07:00

For all the women who do so much for their families without a lot of recognition. So many times you've given up what you want to do in order to help your children. So many times you've cried because of their choices. So many times you've nursed hurt feelings because of their careless comments or actions. So many times you've felt all alone and unable to go on. Yet somehow you do. Yes, in the end it's very worth it, and you wouldn't trade them for all the riches in the world, but it's still not easy. Never easy. It's still the toughest job in the world.

I wish you all a Happy Mother's Day!

Finally, Some Sense!

2011-02-16T12:01:00.000-08:00

On Valentine's Day, my son was hauled into the office at school and lectured on having created an inappropriate Valentine's Day envelope. I went to the school yesterday to talk to the lady administrator involved and to get the envelope. This morning I wrote an e-mail to the principal telling him we were appalled at the idea of our son being punished for so innocuous an enevelop (to see the envelope, click on my previous post). Thankfully after sending that e-mail some sense came to light in this issue, but before I tell you about that, I want to post part of the letter I also wrote this morning to the female administrator responsible for punishing my son. (I snipped a few entire paragraph and used . . . to show where I removed text for length purposes.)

To XXXXX:

After seeing Jared’s artwork and discussing it with my husband, I want to go on official record and say that we do not feel Jared’s Valentine envelope is inappropriate in any way. You mentioned that Jared put a shepherd on a horse, and I guess you see that as a problem, though we fail to understand why. In actuality, Jared, cut off the staff and put it in the church so it would NOT be a shepherd, just a guy, a comedian, on a horse, but he did ask me last night, “Mom, would there be something wrong with a shepherd on a horse?”

No, absolutely not. A guy who owns sheep might just have a horse, too. I’m not sure if you are seeing something sacrilegious in his putting a figure who once was a shepherd on a horse, but we don’t see the connection. Nor does our son. It is because it’s a rocking horse? He just thinks of it as a horse.

Your main concern seems to be that the boys were excited about candy and that their projects had no relation to Valentine’s Day. This should not be a problem. In fact, we compliment the art teacher for inspiring such creativity! My husband and I believe that this should have been a fun day for the children and should be continued in the future. They didn’t make fun of their classmates, disrupt class, or endanger their salvation in any way. Valentine’s Day is not a sacred holiday. It is not related to scripture and really doesn’t need to be. It is about friendship and fun, and that’s okay. There will be enough hard and serious things in life—let the children have some clean fun! (And if we need any proof that God has a sense of humor, just look at the giraffe.)

-snip-

My family has been at [this school] for thirteen years . . . For the most part we’ve had wonderful experiences, and we enjoy the conservatism . . . However, my son’s trust (and ours) has been damaged by what we see as unnecessary discipline and subsequent neglect. Instead of inspiring trust and respect, there is only fear on Jared’s part and incredulity and some defensive anger on ours.

I know you are sorry about how Jared has taken this . . . but we are concerned about how it was handled. In fact, we believe it shouldn’t have been addressed at all. One serious concern we have is that if my son had really been so terrible as to need to stay in the office for over an hour, we should have been notified. Certainly in this case, he needed an advocate who knows him and cares about him.

-snip-end-

Okay, back to the regular blog again. Most of this I also wrote in the e-mail I wrote to the prinicipal this morning. Almost immediately he called me back and told me he was so sorry this happened, that he felt terrible, and that there was absolutely nothing wrong with Jared's envelope. Whew! Finally some sense. He asked me what he could do. I told him jokingly that she should have to miss lunch completely like she made him do and write an essay on why she shouldn't have punished the children for having fun. More seriously, I told him that it was enough to know that he would talk to her and that something like this would not happen in the future.

I also requested that if my children need direction in the future and if she is involved, that I be notified immediately, and that she talk to my son about this issue only in my presence. Quite frankly, he's afraid of her, and I can't blame him. There's no excuse for having my son sitting in the office for more than an hour without calling me. Over the years, I have mostly enjoyed everything at this school, but this was a real concern. I mean, a bad teacher might crop up now and again, but they are always let go rather quickly--being a private school, there is no union to protect rotten teachers. But this was something else altogether. I had to know if this was the direction the school was heading (fanatical), or a mistake by one woman. Thankfully, it turned out to be the latter.

I still haven't decided if I'm going to let her apologize for making my son miss lunch and class for so long (which later caused a good deal of homework to make up and more frustration on his part). I mean, what's the point if she doesn't admit she was wrong in the first place? She remains convinced that the boys have committed some grave error.

Oh, and BTW, I also e-mailed the art teacher commending her for encouraging such creativity as I saw in the other boys' Valentine envelopes. Yes, one or two might be considered a little much for this conservative private school, but you know what? I thought they were extremely creative. How can you punish that? Especially when it wasn't hurtful to anyone. In the future the school should definitely refer to parents for such matters. It really isn't in their job. Thankfully, I think that's the direction they're headed.

Ta-Dum! The Terribly Offensive Valentine Envelope

2011-02-15T15:46:00.000-08:00

Okay, here it is, the horribly offensive artwork my son created for his Valentine's Day envelope. In the end, it wasn't a drawing at all but glued on figures provided by the art teacher. He says it's a it's a comedian on a horse. For the full story of what happened to him because of this creation, please see the previous post. The second picture is the essay he had to write as a punishment.

As an update, I went to the school today to retrieve the artwork and to confront this woman. To give her credit, she did feel bad upon learning she'd prevented my son from having lunch. I told her not to talk to my son again unless I was present and explained to her that he is scared to death of her and that trust has been completely lost. He feels singled out and no better than scum on her shoe.

Admittedly, some of the boys' artwork really could be considered inappropriate (like the frog shot through the heart with guts hanging out), but even that could have been handled on a different note. When she asked me what I would have done, I told her she should have talked to the parents and let them decide whether or not their child's artwork was appropriate. This envelope absolutely will not endanger my child's salvation. It is not a saving ordinance, it's not disrepectful to anyone, it didn't cause any disruption in class. If they want the children to only glue on hearts, then only hearts should have been made available. This also could have easily been handled on a teacher level, with the art teacher simply saying, "Sorry guys, just do them again." (Instead, she told a boy in my carpool, who was also later reprimanded, that his was very nice.) They didn't need to be singled out. Incidentally, I did learn that the other boys also wrote brief essays when she sent Jared to her office for laughing, but none of them missed out on their lunch. Only my son was kept that long. (And it's strange because Jared has never been one to mock or disobey any teacher.)

My kids have attended this school for thirteen years and this woman has worked there the entire time. This makes the whole situation worse. When she sad she felt bad about the lunch and that she didn't know, I said, "You should have known. You should have asked." Yes, she should have cared enough. She should have taken the time.

She eventually mentioned that maybe they should do away with the Valentine's Day celebration in the sixth grade altogether (like they have sadly done in the older grades). That's what I was afraid of. Let the children have a little fun, for crying out loud! Life is difficult enough as it is.

I was driving carpool today and didn't have a lot of time to stay and discuss the matter with her further, though I feel I clearly made my displeasure and anger known. Nothing like this should happen again without my being called before it goes this far. She does want to apologize for making Jared miss lunch and asked to talk to Jared when I can be there. I'm grateful for that much, though I look at this envelope and I still don't understand why she felt she needed to punish him in the first place. Definitely not her place. As two of the boys in my carpool told their mother, this was definitely the worst Valentine's Day ever.

What Kind of Fanaticism is This?

2011-02-15T11:26:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, my tender-hearted eleven-year-old son and several other boys were called out of class at American Heritage School in American Fork because of what they chose to draw on their Valentine envelopes. Though their art teacher had given them free rein to draw whatever they wanted (a great way to inspire boys), a woman in the administration took offense at their designs. My son drew a guy on a horse, a church, and wrote the word candy. Another boy wrote, "Give me candy or give me death!" a phrase actually suggested by the art teacher.

Apparently, these expressions were not acceptable by this woman from the administration (the art teacher had no objections). The boys were told to make new envelopes and that Valentine's Day was about love (as opposed to candy, I assume).

Love? Is she kidding? These boys are eleven-years-old! Like it or not, for children Valentine's Day is about giving and receiving Valentines (and, yes, preferably with candy). The day is only truly about love, if you’re talking about your family or your spouse. I don't know about you, but in the sixth grade, I absolutely do not want my son to consider giving Valentines to classmates as an expression of romantic love, which is what it means to them when presented in this manner. Exchanging Valentines is something fun to do with classmates. End of story. They had fulfilled the art teacher's request, but this woman felt it her duty to teach our children the real meaning of Valentine's Day--without requesting any parental input.

But the story isn't over yet. It gets worse.

When she said Valentine's Day was about love, one of the boys said "Looove," and my son had the misfortune to laugh. Now Jared is not a trouble-maker, but he was having a difficult time understanding what was wrong. He didn't laugh to mock this woman but because how the boy spoke was amusing. Though they are curious about it, love is icky to them. Girls are icky. No way is Valentine's Day about love for them.

What happened next goes beyond belief. Instead of a simple, kind discussion, which is always effective with my little boy (and with most children), this woman dismissed the other boys to go to lunch and kept my son all during lunch period writing paragraphs on what Valentine's Day was all about and why he shouldn't follow the crowd. His paragraphs were never good enough, so he ended up staying there all of lunch and all of the next period's grammar class.

By the time he was released, all lunch periods had ended, and he didn't receive the pizza lunch we paid in advance for that day (non-refundable). He had a fruit and a cookie with him, and that's what he ate for lunch. At no time was was I called or informed that my son missed lunch so we could provide what we had trusted the school to provide in the first place. Nor did they deign to tell me he'd committed such a grievous sin. I learned only when he came home in tears.

Now, the fact that my son laughed was rude and inconsiderate (and I explained this to him), but the fact that this woman singled him out and prevented him from eating lunch was also inconsiderate, as well as neglectful, which is a far worse crime seeing as she's the adult. Who, may I ask, is going to pay him back for the pizza and make her write paragraphs for being neglectful (and disrespectful) of someone else's child? She wasn't even around when he finally made it to the closed lunch room, nor did she check up to see if he'd eaten.

That all this stemmed from what I see as an overly strict, even fanatical view of what was appropriate for Valentine's Day, which is up to parents, not teachers or administration, compounds this gross negligence. None of the boys should have been singled out. If the administration wanted the boys to draw hearts or something else, they should have told them in advance. (Which would have definitely stifled any sign of creativity.)

Instead of this woman inspiring honor, respect, and trust, she instilled fear, disrepect, and mistrust. She has created a negativy that may stay with him all of his life. She was supposed to be trustworthy. Last night I e-mailed the principal, this woman, and my son's teachers about this because I feel her response was over the top, even for a conservative private school. I plan to officially request that this administrator not be allowed to discipline my children unless I am present, or even to talk to my children alone. My son's trust in her is gone--and frankly so is mine. At what point does the lesson lose its value? Well, yesterday it was long lost. I’m still unsure how something so benign could have had this result.

Top 10 Reasons to Give Up Acrylic Nails

2010-12-25T14:10:00.000-08:00

This past year I experimented with acrylic nails and I love them, especially the way they always looked great all month without me doing a thing. However, I recently made the decision to go without, and here's why.

1. Cost. My nails would cost between $20 and $35 a month. (Some women I know go every two weeks, which makes the cost significantly more.) I can use that elsewhere.

2. The smell of the chemicals is overwhelming (at least to me).

3. It's hard to open a can of pop.

4. Difficult to pick up coins or other small objects from a countertop or table.

5. The nails sometime break or chip on the edges and dirt can wedge its way between your real nail and the acrylic one, leaving a dark line on the edges.

6. They are impossible to remove alone without a huge investment of time.

7. The chemicals and materials destroy your real nails (I'm hoping mine eventually recover).

8. It's impossible to wedge an acrylic nail between your teeth to flick out a bit of popcorn.

9. Who has the time to drive all the way to the salon and spend an hour getting the nails on? (This was a major decider for me.)

10. The clincher: Acrylic nails make it much harder to rack and shoot your pistols.

Christmas Deal on Books Extended!

2010-12-13T08:38:00.000-08:00

Still in time to order!

Five of my earlier novels are on sale for Christmas! These are brand new novels, not store seconds, and I’m selling them below my cost to clean out my inventory. Yes, that’s 5 books for $24, a $75 value! Plus shipping. No limit. Whiles supplies last. Even with shipping, it’s a great value. Many recent readers haven’t yet these earlier novels yet, so this is a great time to buy them for yourself or other book-lovers. Buy now through PayPal for Christmas!

Price:
Any 1 for $6.00
Any 2 for $11.00
Any 3 for $16.00
Any 4 for $20.00
Any 5 for $24.00

Books available:
To Love and To Promise (2nd edition) reg. $15.95
A Bid for Love (2nd edition Love series #1) reg. $15.95
Framed for Love (2nd edition Love series #2) reg. $15.95
Love on the Run (2nd edition Love series #3) reg. $15.95
A Greater Love (1st edition) reg. $12.95

Add your shipping choice (delivery in 2-3 business days in U.S. after 24 hours processing time):
Option #1 $4.90 for 1 to 3 books (these will come in a flat rate priority envelope) $11.45 for Canada and Mexico and $13.45 for elsewhere outside the U.S.

Option #2 $9.80 for 4 to 6 books (these will come in TWO flat rate priority envelopes) $22.90 for Canada and Mexico and $26.90 for other places outside the U.S.

Option #3 $10.70 for up to 8 books (these will come in a flat rate priority box) $26.95 for Canada and Mexico and $43.45 for elsewhere outside the Continental U.S.

Keep in mind that the boxes will protect books better than the cardboard envelope and though we pack with care, we cannot be responsible for books that are dented by the post office. If you want insurance, ask me about adding it! If you live in Utah Valley, e-mail me about a possible pick up to save on postage. Send payment using PayPal to Rachel@RachelAnnNunes.com. Include in the instructions which books you want, to whom you want them autographed, and add your shipping choice into the total. Or send me an e-mail.

To learn more about these books, or to read a sample chapter, visit my website and click on the book drop down menu. All orders will be sent the next day by priority mail. Order now!

Merry Christmas!

Writing Leads to Shooting Good Fun!

2010-11-20T20:22:00.000-08:00

Last night my husband and I took our seventeen-year-old daughter to a local indoor shooting range. Since we're relatively new to the whole handgun thing, this was her first chance to shoot one. In fact, the real reason I've gotten into guns recently is because a few of my characters use them, but I didn't have much experience except for a few range trips as a teen with my parents and once with my own rifle after I was married. It was time to learn.

So after a conceal carry class and several range trips, I made the plunge and chose two weapons my main characters would use, and experimented with others I could have minor characters use. Or bad guys. Heh, heh. Can't forget those delicious bad guys.

And I found out something--this is fun stuff! Though I've always believe in the right to bear arms, I felt some uncertainty about what was involved and whether I should own handguns with children in the home. But now that I'm trained, the scare factor is gone, and the respect factor is, if anything, greater. Since we do have children in the house, the guns must be securely locked away, in use, or in a holster that someone responsible is wearing. There is no other option. Not in the desk, on the counter, or in a purse. That's far too dangerous. I've learned that teaching children about guns and to respect them, and taking them shooting is also vital to safely owning any kind of gun.

Last night with my daughter and husband, I was shooting my new Ruger LCP, and we also had our Smith & Wesson M&P 9C, which by the way is an incredible gun. Apparently, I have a knack for shooting, and with the M&P, I can shoot ANYTHING I want without really taking long to aim. Pull, boom, boom, boom. See the picture (top of the two targets above) for how I did on my first try with this gun. After shredding the middle (see close of picture on right), I finally had to aim somewhere else on the target! The M&P is a fabulous compact 9mm, though for me or my female character it could be a bit conspicuous for conceal carry, depending on what clothes we were wearing. (I know you think I have all control of my characters and could tell them what to wear and exactly how to act, but any writer will tell you that's simply not true.)

My Ruger LCP .380 is signifcantly more difficult to both rack and to pull the trigger. Even so, I can decimate a target with it as well. The lower picture of the two above (see below for close up) is how I did the first time I used the Ruger. The main advantage of the Ruger is that it's easily carried concealed. Yes, the .380 has less stopping power than a 9mm, but even my character knows that a .380 on her body will do a lot more for her in an emergency situation than a larger gun sitting in her safe at home. Especially, if she is using hollow point ammo.

I'd actually been planning to buy the Sig P238, which is about the same size, but the single action movement (instead of the double), makes the trigger almost too easy to pull and so the gun has a safety. Having learned the danger of relying on a safety in my conceal carry class, I really didn't want a semi-automatic pistol with a crutch that could easily be forgotten when carrying, or left on in an emergency situation. Ultimately, the 12 pounds trigger didn't prevent me from buying the Ruger. Turned out to be a good choice as I have no problem shooting it.

After a few practice rounds, my daughter also did well with the M&P and came away loving the gun as much I do. She didn't like my Ruger, however; she could barely pull the trigger and couldn't hit anything. Even my husband couldn't hit much with it. I couldn't explain my success with either gun, or the others I've tried (maybe something left over my my old pitching days), but it was a lot of fun.

As we taught Catia how to shoot, showing her all the tricks we've learned and watching her carefully to be sure there was no accident, it was a testament to how far we've come ourselves this past year--and how much fun a new hobby can be (if expensive.)

This isn't the first time my characters have enriched my life. Over the years I've learned many, many tidbits about hundreds of different subjects, but so far this has been the most tangible extension of my writing. My next personal goal is to take martial arts lessons, because though my son was involved in it for years, there is nothing like writing from personal experience.

In a week or so, we'll take our fourteen-year-old to the range. He won't likely be shooting the Ruger more than once or twice--he probably won't like it--but he'll love the M&P. Then we'll go on to the next child, and so forth. It'll be a family affair, something we can all safely enjoy together.

Immunizations--What Do You Think?

2010-11-08T19:03:00.000-08:00

Hi all. My daughter asked me to ask people how they feel about immunizations for a paper she is doing for a college class. She would love as many people as possible to answer the following questions. Please help! So far she has only four responses. Every opinion is appreciated. Please feel free to write as much as you want.

Also, if you work in the medical field or know someone who does, please let us know that when you respond. She would really love to have a few doctors and nurses say what they think (so far we neither of those have answered). If you know a doctor or nurse that she could e-mail, please let me know rachel@rachelannnun.com.

THANKS SO MUCH!

Questions:
1. What is your opinion on immunization and vaccines?

2. Should babies and young children be vaccinated? Why or why not? How early should they receive their first immunization? From birth? One year? Five years? At what age would you begin?

3. If you have chosen not to vaccinate your children while they are living with you, do you vaccinate them before they leave for college?

4. Are there certain vaccinations you avoid? Why?

5. Has your doctor ever told you or anyone you know to postpone immunizations or avoid them altogether?

6. Do you know anyone who's child(ren) have suffered side effects from a vaccine? If yes, please explain.

7. Anything else you would like to add?

Win a Kindle and Read a Great Book--The Stone Travelor by Kathi Oram Peterson

2010-09-28T21:00:00.000-07:00

The last book on my catch-up review list is The Stone Traveler by Kathi Oram Peterson. Like the previous few books, I agreed to review The Stone Traveler before I left for Portugal the first of July, but unlike the other books, I didn't actually get this one until after I came home. Kathi, knowing I had a wedding the first of September scheduled my review for September 30th. So, I'm not really late. In fact, I actually hope to post this a few days early.

Let me preface this review by saying Kathi is holding a great contest and the main prize is a KINDLE. Yes, a Kindle. I LOVE my Kindle, and this is a fun way to try to get one. If you visit Kathi's blog http://www.kathiswritingnook.com/ and look at the left column, you will find a bunch of blog sites that have reviewed her book. If you visit each of those sites and leave a comment, you will be entered into a drawing for a Kindle. Now let me tell you, there aren't a ton of people who have the time to keep going back and looking at the new reviewers posting. As I understand it, you have to post on every site to be eligible, and the contest ends on September 30th (the day I was supposed to post, but remember, I'm posting this early). So if you want that Kindle, there's a good chance to win it that way. I would try for it myself, but already have one--and I have a deadline. Rats!

Now back to the book. The Stone Traveler is basically a young adult book, but adult readers will also enjoy it. I really did. What I loved the most was the way my teenage son took the book and devoured it. I loved that he was getting a great adventure with gospel insights without the preaching. Tag, the main character, has made some really poor choices, but he is given exactly what he needs to shake off the figurative chains that bind him. Tag really comes alive for the reader. I also loved that the female characters were strong and courageous.

I won't go into more detail, except to say that this book is well worth buying and reading. Kathi has come up with a wonderful story for people of all ages. Don't miss out on either the opportunity to read this book--or to win a Kindle. Hmm, maybe I'll tell my children about this contest. After all they loved the book!

Trapped by Ronda Gibb Hinrichsen

2010-09-26T09:03:00.000-07:00

Okay, readers, it's on to another book I read this summer while in Portugal, Trapped by Ronda Gibb Hinrichsen. The book was provided by the author to me in hard copy for review. Though I love reading on my Kindle, I love hard copy almost as much, because I can take it to the beach without worrying about it being stolen or ruined by sand.

I'd expected a young adult book, as that's what I'd thought it was originally, but I was pleasantly surprised that the characters were older, not angst-filled teenagers--though there was a lot of angst going around, and for good reason.

Emi is house-sitting for her mother when someone breaks in and leaves what seems to be a letter from her father who is supposedly dead. This sets into motion a series of events that have Emi flying to the Austrian Alps with Daniel, her best friend that she has secretly loved for years. Only Emi can free her family from the curse hanging that hangs over them, but she may lose Daniel and her life in the process.

Intrigue, danger, love, and mythical legend blend together to make an interesting, suspenseful read. Lovers of clean paranormal romances, will enjoy this book every bit as much as I did. Visit Ronda at http://www.rondahinrichsen.com/

Say What?

2010-09-25T09:38:00.000-07:00

During my month-long trip to Portugal this summer, we had a lot of fun and many wonderful experiences. There were also some rough times, even though we only had four of our children with us instead of the six we'd always taken before. But what we seem to remember most and laugh about now, months later, are the funny things that happened.

One afternoon we went into a post office to buy a stamp and mail a single letter in the Cova da Piedade. It was early afternoon when many stores shut down for the typical two-hour lunch, and we were grateful the place was open at all. It was huge post office, larger than the one I usually go to in Pleasant Grove.

We were the only customers, and two ladies awaited at their stations to serve us. What luck! As we walked up, one said bit sourly, "Do you have a number?"

"What?" I asked, thinking I hadn't heard right. But my husband, a native Portuguese was every bit as confused.

"A number," she repeated. This time she pointed to a machine near the door that gave out numbers.

My husband and I exchanged an incredulous glance, but the woman was absolutely serious. We took the long walk back to get a number, which then, about thirty seconds later, popped up on a screen. We approached the counter again, bought our stamp, gave the woman our letter, and left, shaking our heads.

Bureaucracy at its finest!

Rebound by Heather Justesen

2010-09-23T21:07:00.000-07:00

It's been a busy past few months for me, and I'm so late on this review that it's embarrassing. In fact, I have three reviews that I'll be posting in the next few days. Nothing like a daughter's wedding, a month-long trip to Europe, a broken ankle that refuses to heal, and a pending deadline to put a woman behind.

But I'm anxious to tell you about the first of these books, which I read from my Kindle while on the plane to Portugal this past July. The book is Rebound by Heather Justesen. First of all, I want to say that I really, really love Heather. I don't know her well, but I do know firsthand that she's the sort of person who will jump in and help wherever she can. I admire her greatly. She's that kind of writer, too. She writes with heart.

Rebound tells the story of Lily, whose husband, John, has turned out to be the worst kind of man. He's lied to her from the first and now their marriage has crumbled before her eyes. Worse, his parents are determined to take away her children--not, mind you, that they have ever cared to spend time with them before. John and his parents are BAD people. In fact, none of them have a single redeeming feature. You will not need to worry about their motives or suspect any other agenda. They are shallow people who are beyond help or redemption. People readers love to hate.

What specifically worked in this book was Lily, who is a likeable character and who works hard to make a good life for her children. Curtis, a man who is at first just a friend, is also a likeable character and their progress toward romance is believeable and, well, sweet. As Lily grows stronger, she becomes a woman able to take care of herself, ready to love again.

One thing I really enjoyed in the novel was Curtis's interest in his biological family, especially how he finally reached out to his mother in prison. I would have loved to see more of his relationship with her and with the other siblings because what was in the novel was fascinating to me.

This book helped get me through layovers, folks. Believe me, I was glad to be given a review version of this LDS romance. Thanks, Heather! Visit Heather at http://www.heatherjustesen.com/.

Hometown Girl by Michele Ashman Bell

2010-08-19T10:28:00.000-07:00

Before my recent trip to Europe, I was given an electronic copy of Michele Ashman Bell's new novel Hometown Girl. I uploaded it to my Kindle with a bunch of other books, and I was ready for anything. Layovers, plane delays, I didn't care. I had BOOKS.

Hometown Girl was the first I read. The novel is the second segment of Michele's Butterfly Box Series, but at that point in time I hadn't read the first book. Though Hometown Girl was a great read alone, as I read and enjoyed the novel, I suspected there was something more I'd missed out on with the larger group of friends. I wanted to know about everyone of them and how the group formed, which made me want to go back and read the first--and wait for the next segment, which I believe will soon be coming. Yay!

Hometown Girl is the story of Jocelyn, a woman coming home, facing her past, and falling in love. It's funny, interesting, and often poignant. I found the hero a bit unusual, which I really liked. I don't want to give too much away of the story, but I will say that I loved the small town atmosphere and the characters Jocelyn meets and the challenges she faces. Her frustrations as she adapts to a new lifestyle are real. This was the perfect read for my flight, as it completely kept me from thinking about how small those airplane seats really are.

So as my daughter is getting married in two weeks and I still have a long list of things I must do, I won't say anything more except that if you love LDS romance, run out to your nearest LDS bookstore and buy this book.

Michele is holding a contest in connection with the release of her book--a $50 gift Visa card. To check out the details you just need to enter on her blog http://micheleabell.blogspot.com/2010/08/blog-tour-contest-and-signings.html.

Enjoy!

AND THE WINNER IS . . .

2010-06-10T09:28:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to Daron D. Fraley, who was the winner of the Imprints $50 gift certificate giveaway. My six-year-old drew his name from the basket this morning. Daron, please contact me and let me know which bookstore you want to use for your certificate.

I'm also going to award another prize to Stephanie Skidmore, who sent various people to my blog to enter for a total of 24 entries. She had the best odds to win, but her name wasn't drawn so I'd like to give her something for her additional efforts. Stephanie, please contact me to discuss which of my books (limited to stock on hand) that you'd like me to send you.

Thanks again to everyone who participated. I really appreciate your support. You guys are the best!

End of the $50 Imprints Contest!

2010-06-09T18:36:00.000-07:00

Okay, folks, we have reached the end of the Imprints contest to be entered into the drawing to receive a $50 dollar gift certificate to the online bookstore of your choice. I meant to conclude it last week but spent some unanticipated time away from home and was unable to finish. So I'm going to post the last comments now, print them up, and hold the drawing. I will post the winner's name as soon as I have it!

Thank you, everyone for participating!

7th and Final Question in the $50 Imprints Giveaway

2010-05-25T12:06:00.000-07:00

QUESTION CLOSED

We have reached the end of the Imprints contest a win a $50 gift certificate to the bookstore of your choice. We decided to end with question seven because it's a magical number (something about the seventh son of a seventh son or something). So here we are. Enter your response in the comments, which are being moderated so no one can peek. You don't have to have answered any other question to answer this one. We'll give this one a week and then check back to see if you won!

Question #7

In Imprints someone else in the story has an ususual talent besides Autumn. Who is this person and what is the talent?

After I post the comments it's too late! You get one entry for your correct answer and one for everyone else you send here to comment. Good luck! And remember if you enjoyed Imprints, please let Deseret Book (publishing division) know that you'd love to see more of this genre! You can do this by clicking here. Good luck!

Question #6 in the Imprints $50 Giveaway (Contest Ending Soon!)

2010-05-12T16:48:00.000-07:00

QUESTION CLOSED

We are nearing the end of our Imprints contest a win a $50 gift certificate to the bookstore of your choice. I am late in posting Question #6 because I've been sick, but I'm feeling better now and I'm back at it. Enter your response in the comments, which are being moderated so no one can peek. You don't have to have answered any other question to answer this one.

Question #6

In Imprints what is the REAL name of the woman who joins the commune at the same time Autumn does? (Hint: she's the one with the little boy.) What does she change her name to?

After I post the comments it's too late! You get one entry for your correct answer and one for everyone else you send here to comment. Good luck! And remember if you enjoyed Imprints, please let Deseret Book (publishing division) know that you'd love to see more of this genre! You can do this by clicking here. Good luck!

A Special Mother's Day Letter from Japan

2010-05-04T19:43:00.001-07:00

Today I received an envelope from Japan with letters from the Young Women and leaders in the small branch where my son is serving. They told me what hard-working missionary he is, how well he speaks Japanese, how grateful they are he is serving in their area, how they are keeping an eye him, and their feelings about the Lord taking care of him. What a wonderful, touching Mother's Day letter. I am so grateful.

Question #5 in the Imprints $50 Giveaway

2010-05-01T13:46:00.000-07:00

QUESTION CLOSED

It's time for the 5th Imprints question for a chance to enter the drawing for a $50 gift certificate to the bookstore of your choice. Enter your response in the comments, which are being moderated so no one can peek. You don't have to have answered any other question to answer this one.

Question #5
In Imprints what is the name of the cult/commune that Autumn pretends to join in order to find two missing women. (And a bonus entry for anyone who does a little tiny little search on the Internet to find out what true event inspired that name.)

Question #1, #2, #3 and #4 are now closed, but there is still time to respond to future questions. After I post the comments, it's too late! You get one entry for your correct answer and one for everyone else you send here to comment. Good luck! And remember if you enjoyed Imprints, please let Deseret Book (publishing division) know that you'd love to see more of this genre! You can do this by clicking here. Good luck!

Question #4 in the Imprints $50 Giveaway

2010-04-26T14:29:00.000-07:00

QUESTION CLOSED

Okay, 4th question for another chance to enter the drawing for a $50 gift certificate to the bookstore of your choice. Enter your response in the comments, which are being moderated so no one can peek. You don't have to have answered any other question to answer this one.

Question #4
In Imprints what does Autumn touch of Director Dar's that causes her to see a conversation between him and his brother, Inclar.

Question #1, #2, and #3 are now closed, but there is still time to respond to future questions. After I post the comments, it's too late! You get one entry for your correct answer and one for everyone else you send here to comment. Good luck! And remember if you enjoyed Imprints, please let Deseret Book (publishing division) know that you'd love to see more of this genre! You can do this by clicking here. Good luck!

3rd Question in the Imprints $50 Gift Certificate Contest

2010-04-22T11:20:00.000-07:00

QUESTION CLOSED

Here is the third question for another chance to be entered into the drawing for a $50 gift certificate to the bookstore of your choice. Enter your response in the comments, which are being moderated so no one can peek. You don't have to have answered any other question to answer this one. Hint: the answer to this question is in the first chapter of Imprints.

Question #3
In Imprints what does Mrs. Fullmer buy from Autumn's antiques shop after learning the possible fate of her missing daughter?

The first two questions are now closed, but there is still time to respond to future questions. After I post the comments, it'll be too late! You get one entry for your correct answer and one for everyone else you send here to comment. Good luck! And remember if you enjoyed Imprints, please let Deseret Book know that you'd love to see more of this genre! You can do this by clicking here. Good luck!

2nd Question in the Imprints $50 Gift Certificate Contest

2010-04-19T09:03:00.000-07:00

QUESTION CLOSED

Okay, it's time for the 2nd question and another chance to be entered into the drawing for a $50 gift certificate to the bookstore of your choice. As before, just enter your response in the comments, which are being moderated so no one can peek. Anyone can enter (you don't have to have answered any other question). After today, the questions will get harder and you'll have to have read the book!

Question #2

In Imprints, what is the name of Autumn's best guy friend?

It was really interesting to see the answers to question number #1. Most people got it right, but a few were off, though the answer was on the description of the book.

You get one entry for your correct answer and one for everyone else you send here to comment. Good luck! And remember if you enjoyed Imprints, please let Deseret Book know that you'd love to see more of this genre! You can do this by clicking here.

Imprints $50 Gift Certificate Contest Begins!

2010-04-15T14:10:00.001-07:00

QUESTION CLOSED

Okay, today is the 15th, and time to begin my Imprints $50 Gift Certificate Contest. I will be asking questions about my new novel, Imprints, one every few days, and if you comment here with the answer, you'll get your name in the drawing for the $50 gift certificate to the bookstore of your choice. If someone sent you to my blog, write their name too, and they'll also get an entry. I'm moderating comments and won't post so no one can cheat!

Question #1

In relation to my book Imprints, what exactly are imprints?

Now this is an easy question, but they will get harder. You'll have to eventually read the book to get them all. Good luck!

Oh, and if you enjoyed this book, please let the publisher know (by clicking here) that you'd like to see more books for women in this genre. Every e-mail will help!

Win a $50 Gift Certificate--Contest for Imprints

2010-04-01T11:48:00.000-07:00

My novel Imprints, the FIRST WOMEN'S PARANORMAL ROMANCE published by Shadow Mountain/Deseret Book is now available. To ensure there will be sequels and more books in this genre, I need help spreading the word. Sales mean everything to a publisher, and I'm writing the sequel now (and hope I'm not wasting time), so I need to make a great showing!

That means it's time for a fun contest! Here's how it works. Every few days starting on April 15th, I'll be posting a trivia question about Imprints on Twitter, Facebook, and here. With the exception of the first few questions, you'll need to have read the book to figure it out, so start reading now!

To enter the contest, make a comment here with the answer to the question. Meanwhile, I'll moderate the comments so no one can see the answers until the end of the contest. For every right answer, you gain one entry in the drawing for a $50 GIFT CERTIFICATE to the bookstore of your choice. For every person you send to this blog to respond to the question (whether through a review or another any other means), you and they both get an entry. So make sure your friends and family mention in their comment that you sent them. The contest will run for a month, and if we get a lot of participation, we'll add more prizes.

So, get reading, or get your friends reading so they can tell you the answers!

Secret Sisters by Tristi Pinkston . . . and other Valor Books

2010-04-01T10:51:00.000-07:00

I just can't say enough good things about the novel Secret Sisters by Tristi Pinkston. I was asked to review it by the publisher, and fortunately the novel arrived in the mail on a day when I was not feeling well. It saved my life! I just LOVE these old ladies and the hilarious situations they put themselves in. The fact that they are a Mormon Relief Society Presidency greatly added to the humor. A fast, fun read for all ages. Please visit Tristi's blog for more information.

Another book by Valor that I received was I'll Know You By Heart by Kimberly Job. This book is on the rather serious subject of spousal abuse and at times I found myself mentally yelling at the main character to run and call the police or to show some backbone. Then I realized what a creditable job the author did in showing how difficult it is for abused women to leave a terrible situation and how hard abuse is on families. Also, the husband's character, though obsessive, was equally realistic, with emotions that were all over the board. The best part was the hero, Jared, and his daughter, who were both adorable!

A third book I read was The Sapphire Flute by Karen Hoover. Two of my children snatched this book before I got to it, my sixteen-year-old daughter and my thirteen-year-old son. Both had it read with in a day so take what you may from that. As for myself, I admire the world Hoover has created and the unique magic of the characters. A promising series. My only complaint is one my daughter voiced--that while the characters were in their mid-teens and getting married and so forth, the dialogue and feel of the novel seemed to be middle grade rather than young adult. Even so, I'm sure my daughter will devour the sequels, and I'll be interested to see the plot development.

Time to Step Back, Reevaluate, and Reorganize—Again

2010-03-04T11:00:00.000-08:00

Stop the treadmill! I want to get off. Or even just slap it down a notch. But my publisher is wondering where my next manuscript is, my children need help with scouts and a science project (my daughter could use a bath, too, but that might be asking a little too much of me), and if I don’t do laundry my children may have to resort to their dirty clothes basket. (Hey, at least they had root beer floats today—I’m a hero.)

Last I had two major deadlines, including my latest manuscript for my publisher, who has been all kinds of patient. Though I usually write only during the day, this week I spent the better part of three evenings working to finish, mostly after I put the children to bed. Then in order to drag my exhausted body out of bed the next morning, I’d have to tell myself I’d go back to bed after the kids went to school. Actually, I use this tactic often. Of course what I really do is turn on the computer and sit there until they get home again because the magic always kicks in and sleep means nothing after that. Sometimes I remember to eat breakfast before one.

I’d like to say this was a particularly difficult week, but the truth is things have never slowed down in all the thirteen years I’ve been publishing. I find myself increasingly choosing between good and good, instead of bad and good or good and better. Do I help my child with a science project or attend a scout meeting? Do I go to parent/teacher conference or make my deadline? Do I read to my children and help them do their math or do I make a dinner that isn’t leftovers or something popped in the microwave? Do I work on marketing for my new release or do I go out to lunch with friends? Do I feed the dog or wash the sheets? (Truthfully, I haven’t figured out why I even have a dog, except that my kids are just too persuasive.)

A few days ago I had a nightmare. I was at church and Sunday School had just ended, and I realized with horror that it was my turn to give the Women's Relief Society lesson. Well, that was fine because I’d read the material and I could wing it, right? Or I could if I had the page with the notes. Except I'd left the notes home and couldn’t find my van in the parking lot. It wasn’t in the front, in the back, or out in the street. Where was my van? If I wobbled home in my high heels, I’d never make it back to church in time. My heart pounded as I stumbled frantically to and fro, a sense of impending doom pressing down on me until all I could see was darkness. At last I awoke in a sweat, sighing with relief when I realized I was in bed and not in the church parking lot, and though it was indeed my lesson week, I still had plenty of time to finish preparations—after meeting my deadline.

No doubt about it. This was a clear sign that it’s time to step back, reevaluate, and reorganize, because my family and my writing must come before other equally demanding but less important activities. This often involves delegation, but more likely cutting things out all together. Step back, reevaluate, and reorganize. I can't do it all well, but I can do some things well.

In this frame of mind I attended my publisher’s yearly author dinner. Several religious leaders were in attendence and one urged the authors, artists, and musicians to try something new, something creative that was different from what we were currently doing. Not with the intent to work at it professionally, but to expand and to enjoy the reflection it would allow us.

At first I thought, “No problem. All that urban fantasy I’m writing definitely qualifies as something different.” But that was still writing after all, so I began to feel guilty and a little bit, well, stressed. After all, I had my book to finish, a science project pending, numerous issues to attend to in my role as president of LDStorymakers, I hadn’t slept more than four hours in I don’t know how long, I hadn’t yet found entertainment for the ward block party, my relief society lesson wasn’t prepared, and MY BOOK WASN’T finished (that is worth repeating). Yes, my children were well-fed, their homework on track, and they were even reasonably clean, but MY BOOK WASN’T finished. And I was tired.

Then it hit me. Hard. This was the opportunity I’d been awaiting—for months, in fact. This was exactly what I’d needed. In all the mad rush in my life, I haven’t been able to do something I’ve really wanted to do for a long, long time. Yes, it’s creative, and yes, it might make up just a little for all the exercise I’ve been missing lately. No way would I ever do it professionally.You guessed it—I’m going to learn how to belly dance.

Don’t laugh. People like me need permission to do stuff like that. If it’s not for my children, research for my novels (though I could actually use the experience in my writing), a church calling, or for the betterment of mankind, it’s hard to waste time doing it.

Except church leaders had counseled me to, and I’m really excited about it. So excited that I shared the idea with a couple at our table, good friends of ours, and the husband promptly said, in an extremely dignified manner, that to make the challenge more meaningful, next year they should choose several attendees to show what they’d been working on, and did I want to volunteer?

Uh, no. Not a chance.

So what am I going to eliminate from my current schedule in order to work in this new endeavor? I haven’t quite figured that out, but to begin with I have been offered a belly dancing video, which is probably a good place to start, and I own a pair of comfortable sweats.

Life often becomes impossibly full of all the good things we want to accomplish and experience. In order to reach our top goals, the ones we desire most, we must make choices. The best way to get on track is to step back, reevaluate, and reorganize.

What will you eliminate or rearrange in your schedule to make your goals happen?

Losing to a Senior First-Timer

2010-01-26T01:02:00.000-08:00

My mother-in-law is here from Europe visiting for two months, from Portugal specifically. She used to come more often, but this is only the second time she’s been here since 9/11 terrorist attacks. I can understand her fear. After all, she’s sixty-nine years old, and she doesn’t speak English. In past trips, she has missed flights and once got off in Denver accidentally. (Luckily I knew a friend there who spoke Portuguese so she had somewhere safe to spend the night.) It says a lot about my MIL that she always ends up finding her way to Salt Lake, though her courage has understandably diminished a bit as she ages.

I adore my mother-in-law, and I always try to make her trips nice and do things she’ll enjoy. This time it’s been difficult since the kids have mostly been in school, and I’m far behind on my deadlines so I’ve had to work. But we have managed four firsts for her this time around.

#1 We took her on a cruise right after Christmas. It was the first for all of us, and we had an interesting time, spending time on the beach and bringing back a few souvenirs from Cabos San Lucas.

#2 She also shoveled snow for the first time. Just a little because my husband had done the bulk earlier, but it was enough for her to understand what we go through every year.

#3 We took her sledding. She really went just to watch, but I was hoping to convince her to try it. She didn’t want to because she was worried about breaking a leg, but my husband finally convinced her to go down with him. Unfortunately, he took a bumpy route and her bottom paid the price. But thankfully no broken leg. They didn’t fall off or crash into anyone. As I told her afterward, at least she had the experience, and none of her friends or family in Portugal can say the same.

#4 The other thing she did for the first time was to go bowling. Now, I really enjoy bowling, and I’m usually pretty good at it, but I’ve only gone once since I broke my elbow a few years ago. It hurt that time and I’ve been too busy since to go. I carefully explained the rules and hoped my MIL wouldn't do too badly. To make a long story short, this little diminutive, Portuguese woman smoked me. Yes, I came in third out of three people. You should have seen her ball ambling haphazardly down the lane—only to get a strike or a spare. Now losing to a senior beginner isn’t like have her consistently putting the carrot peeler in the wrong drawer or the knives in the wrong slots. It’s personal. It's wrong. (Sniff!)

The night was saved only by the fact that I was able to pair of gently used bowling shoes for a couple bucks, which will save me a bit of money every time I go. If I go again. I mean, how do you recover from something like that? My younger children are begging me to take them, but I don’t know if my ego can take it if my six-year-old takes me to the carpet, shoes or no shoes.

Oh, well. That’s the sacrifice you make as a mother. And as a good daughter-in-law. Hmm, next time I translate the rules of a game for her, I just might make up a few of my own (whoooohaaaaaa!).

A Whole New World Spoof (A New Bathroom!)

2009-12-10T08:37:00.000-08:00

Here is a spoof off of Aladdin's "A Whole New World." Dedicated to all you do-it-yourselfers out there. Sing it at your next church karaoke party. Believe it or not, that's what I wrote it for and my husband and I sang it. Embarrassing! It takes practice (especially the toilet/Japan part), but it fits the music perfectly. Enjoy!

Aladdin:
Come see our new bathroom
New tiles, new sink, and new shower
Tell me, darling, now when did you last
See a bathroom like this! I built it just for you
Let me show you each wonder
A toilet made in Japan
The kind with the seat warmer.
A new bathroom!
A new fantastic lounging place.
The TV over here.
The bidet over there.
No, you are not dreaming!

Jasmine:
A new bathroom
A dozen dazzling mirrors
And now that I’m in here
It’s crystal clear
That Windex is the cleaner we should use!

Aladdin: Windex is the cleaner we should use!

Jasmine:
Oh, I love my new bath.
I have a rug of spun gold.
Candles, bath salts, and laptop
So I can surf the Internet!
A new bathroom!

Aladdin: Paper made by Charmin

Jasmine: A hundred thousand thing to try

Aladdin: Hold your breath; it gets better

Jasmine: I’m like a movie star
I’ve come so far
I can’t go back to where I used to bathe!

Aladdin: A new bathroom!

Jasmine: Every shower a surprise
Aladdin: With windows open to the sea!

Jasmine: Even the towels feel softer

Both:
I’ll come here every time
I need a break
Sit in the jetted tub
And read a book

Aladdin: Our new bathroom!

Jasmine: Our new bathroom!

Aladdin: That’s where we’ll be.

Jasmine: That’s where we’ll be.

Aladdin: No kids allowed

Jasmine: A resting place

Both: For you and me

An Angel on Main Street

2009-11-19T21:06:00.000-08:00

Now that Thanksgiving is over, it's time to start thinking about Christmas, and there's nothing quite like a tender Christmas story to get you into the holiday mood. Fortunately, I had the good fortune to receive a copy of An Angel on Main Street by Kathi Oram Peterson, which I read in one sitting.

Micah Connors is an eleven-year-old boy who has been in and out of trouble since his father died in the Korean war. His mother has taken him and his little sister, Annie, to a new town in the hopes of starting over. Micah has promised to be good, but his new friend needs help and despite all his efforts, he makes a series of mistakes which seem to have him heading back to his old ways. But the local sheriff has taken an interest not only in Micah, but in Micah's mother, much to his dismay.

Peterson did an exellent job showing Micah's frustration, his yearning to be the man in the family. He wants more than anything to make his mother proud and do something that will save his little sister's life. Yet Annie is ill and fading fast, and only a Christmas miracle can save her. Yes, an angel. Or close enough. An Angel on Main Street is one of those stories that make you want to believe.

For more information about this book, visit the author's websites:

http://www.kathiswritingnook.com/
http://www.kathiorampeterson.com/

Peterson is also sponsoring a contest in conjunction with the release of this book from October 15th until December 15th. Anyone can enter by emailing her at Kathiorampeterson@yahoo.com about an experience you have had with someone who became an angel in your life. The winner will be announced on her blog (http://www.kathiswritingnook.com/). A gift certificate from either Seagull Book or Deseret Book will be given to the winner and the “Angel” in his/her life.

What a great idea! Write now about the angel in your life this Christmas.

Win a copy of Dawn's Early Light by Laurie (L.C.) Lewis

2009-11-17T20:08:00.000-08:00

Lovers of historical fiction will be excited to know that L.C. Lewis's new novel Dawn's Early Light, book three of her Free Men and Dreamer’s series, is now available. This compelling novel is set against the backdrop of the War of 1812 and covers the first American-born generation—the children of the Founding Fathers.

For those of you not familiar with Lewis's series, don't worry about needing to read the first two novels before this one. Dawn's Early Light can be read on its own or as a continuation of the first two novels. In fact, it was the first book I read in the series. I am not normally a huge fan of historical fiction, but this fast-paced novel kept my interest, both entertaining and showing me things about the period I'd never known before. The author has done an amazing amount of research and her characters are memorable. I particularly found it interesting to read of battles that I have learned about before, and to see how Lewis's make-believe characters can add so much understanding and feeling to what is going on.

Post a comment here and on any other blog site talking about the book to be entered in a drawing to win an autographed copy of Dawn's Early Light and a unique, handcrafted silver "Liberty" necklace made by Sterling Obsessions. Winners will be announced on Lewis's blog http://www.laurielclewis.blogspot.com/ on December 19th.

If you love historical fiction, or even sort of like it, you won't want to miss Dawn's Early Light. So go out and buy it today! The book can be bought online at Amazon.com, at Seagull Book and Tape, and other retailers. For more information about Lewis and her books visit her website: http://www.laurielclewis.com.

(Note: A copy of Dawn's Early Light was provided to me free of charge so I could do this review.)

Keeping Trim After Thirty-Seven

2009-11-17T13:28:00.000-08:00

I have finally discovered it! Yes, the secret to losing the weight that most everyone, even those who've never had a weight problem before, have put on after age thirty-seven. You see, once you reach this ripe old age, you are only a hop, skip, and jump away from forty, which every teenager knows means you are practically ancient. Your metabolism starts complaining, "Hey, I've been doing this a long time now, and I'm tired. No, I'm exhausted, so I think I'm going to slack off a bit. Okay, a lot. Who cares? I've paid my dues."

Of course, it didn't bother to communicate this important information to you, and so you blithely eat on. You've never had a problem before. Chocolate, cookies, chips, and sweets never stuck on your hips and waist. "I have good genes," you'd always say, feeling sorry for those who were not quite so lucky. But now suddenly you are feeling every piece of chocolate and even a single piece of pizza adds a half a pound to your weight.

Now for the first time in your life, you finally begin to understand the nightmare that all those other people without "good" genes have endured all these years. Your waistline thickens, the fleshy part on your upper arms swing whenever you lift up your arm, and your sweats are so tight on your thighs that they look more like a second skin than something you bought at a department store. Your husband stops asking you if you want ice cream after dinner, and your children's friends no longer say they wished their mom had your figure.

What do you do? Give up and eat more chocolate? Buy clothes two sizes larger? Well, that might be the simpliest thing to do. In fact, it might be the wisest. There are a lot of happy, healthy people out there who weigh ten, twenty, or forty pounds more than they did in high school.

But there is another answer for those who don't want to grow large gracefully. The answer isn't exercise, though exercise is always nice for firming up. (Because most regular people can't work in enough exercise to allow them to continue to eat as they did as twenty-year-olds.) The answer is not some fad diet, which is only good while it lasts. It's not the lipo or surgery that some women resort to in desperation.

The secret is this: Don't eat.

I know, I know, it's a terribly hard thing to do. But the bottom line is calories. It doesn't matter so much what you eat, though some foods definitely give you more mileage, but how much is going into your body versus how much your lazy metabolism is willing to process. Or something like that. Fortunately, you don't have to completely stop eating, because your metabolism hasn't given out on you altogether. You just have to eat less. Less chocolate, less pizza, less of everything. A lot less. Grrrrrr. Except vegetables. Those you can always eat.

The good news is that since your metabolism is taking a break, the food lasts longer in your system and you don't feel hungry as you would have on the same sparse diet when you were younger. However, your stomach and brain don't realize there's been a change for a while, and they still think they should be on the old schedule, so you have to trick them by eating a whole bunch of vegetables and fruit for weeks on end so they think they're getting as much as they always did. Then by the time they realize the calories have been cut, they are good with the deal because they thought they were getting as much all along.

Yes, it's a matter of trickery and starvation. SIGH. I don't know about you, but shopping for a larger size of clothes sounds like a lot more fun.

Saving Madeline Blog Tour Winners!

2009-09-26T10:23:00.000-07:00

Okay, the Blog Tour contest for Saving Madeline has come to an end. My children and I typed and folded each entry into a black hat, and then the youngest drew the names from the hat. We had just over 200 comments on all the blogs. Some readers searched for more than one blog and were able to enter multiple times (as allowed by the rules). Thanks to everyone who participated in the tour or who commented. And the winners are:

NightOwlMommy (from her entry on Anne Bradshaw's site)

Suze (from her entry on LDS Women's Book Review)

Congratulations! Please e-mail me with your full names and address and I'll send those books right out to you.

Saving Madeline Last Days to Win

2009-09-24T15:57:00.000-07:00

Okay, we're coming down to the last few days of my contest. Visit any of these new sites and leave a comment to be entered into the drawing for a few copy of Saving Madeline. If you haven't already left comments at the other sites, check my past posts for the URL. Good luck!

http://lifelongbookworm.blogspot.com/2009/09/saving-madeline-review-interview-and.html
http://camicheckettsbooks.blogspot.com/2009/09/saving-madeline-review-and-giveaway.html
http://cjorgensenfamily.blogspot.com/2009/09/saving-madeline.html
http://grahamchops.blogspot.com/2009/09/book-chop-saving-madeline-contest.html
http://suzetheprice.blogspot.com/2009/09/interview-with-rachel-ann-nunes.html

Different Doesn't Mean Wrong

2009-09-20T07:00:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I was at the Olympic Park in Park City, Utah waiting in line for the Alpine Slide ride, and I couldn't help but overheard the two young mothers in front of me discussing how they succeeded in making their babies sleep through the night. They used phrases like, "He only cried for an hour the first night" and "Mine cried fifteen minutes and then I went in and patted his back for a while" and "It took several nights, but he sleeps all night now." They expressed both guilt for letting their child cry and gratitude for their now-uninterrupted nights.

I didn't join the conversation. Why? Because I wouldn't have known what to say. My children never slept through the night as babies. I nursed them on demand, and they slept in our room until they were weaned (between 14 and 24 months). Even after they slept in their own rooms, I would go to them if they cried in the night and stay with them if they wanted me, or take them back to my room. I simply wasn't capable of allowing them to cry, especially as tiny babies who didn't understand why they were suddenly alone. By answering their calls, I felt they would know that I would always be there for them.

That idealogy continued into other areas. If they didn't feel comfortable in the nursery at church or in their class, I stayed with them until they wanted to go alone. I never sneaked out of a room when they weren't looking, or left without telling them I was going and when I'd be back. I told nursery leaders to come and get me if my child cried and once when they didn't, I refused to take my child back until they were replaced. I didn't us dentists who insisted on keeping me out in the waiting room while they worked on my children. Or to preschools who didn't encourage parent visitors. At times I endured criticism, but what I saw at commitment to my child came first.

I also had little time for myself. There were a lot of days that I was groggy, irritable, and annoyed. I sometimes felt that my sleepless nights would never, ever end. At one point, I couldn't ever remember sleeping all the way through a night in a solid decade. I craved sleep as a drowning man craves air. But I still couldn't let them cry.

I chose other ways of setting limits. I made my children do their chores, we held them responsible for their homework. We always tried to know where they were and who they were with. We taught them the gospel and the commandments. We taught them to care for and love each other.

So did my method work? Well, my children sleep all night and have since they were two or so. None of them have sleep disorders. On the rare occassion if they are awakened by a bad dream, or feel scared at night, they know they are welcome to come to my room for comfort. (As opposed to my husband as a little child, who would shiver alone in his room at night because his father would get mad if he came into his parents' room.) All my children attend school without any issues, they excel in academics, the two oldest have received college scholarships. Some have pursued sports and acting. They have friends and are well-adjusted. I'm convinced I made the right decision for my children.

But do I believe these young mothers ahead of me in line chose the wrong method for their children? Of course not! I remember how the exhaustion weighed on me. I remember how our children's need sometimes came between me and my husband. I remember people outside our family pressuring me to create a sleeping and eating schedule and make my children adhere to it. This method didn't feel right for the person I am and the way I was raised, but these mothers chose the way they felt was best for them and their children. That it was the complete opposite of my path absolutely doesn't mean their children will suffer negative effects.

There are many different ways to parent. My belief is that mothers should follow their instincts while raising their children. Don't let popular opinion, friends, or family pressure you into doing something you feel is wrong for you child. On the other hand, don't let anyone guilt you into not doing something you feel is right. Yes, study out all sides of the issue, discuss with your husband what you should do, making any compromises necessary, and then make a plan. If it doesn't end up working, rethink the plan. Nothing should be set in stone. As I've found with my six children, what works for one child, may not work for another.

For all those young mothers out there battling those sleepless nights. I want you to know that looking back now it seems as though those sleepless 15 years went by so fast! And the moments I spent alone in the middle of the night with each of my children during their first few years are memories I now cherish. So take heart and love your child, and remember that no matter what sleeping method you choose, as long as you love and care for them and set limits in other important areas, your child will be just fine. And one way or the other, you will eventually sleep all the way through the night like I do now.

The Sister Pact

2009-09-19T08:29:00.001-07:00

Last Saturday I was sick, really sick. I could do little but lie on the couch and feel miserable for myself. But I could also read, and that's what saved the day.

Let's back up a little. You see, I'd received the book, The Sister Pact by Cami Checketts, to review a few days earlier, but the moment I took it out the package, my sixteen-year-old daughter swiped it and vanished. The next day she brought it back. She's a big reader, but with her heavy high school schedule, which consists mostly of college-level courses, I was amazed that she'd finished so quickly.

"How was it?" I asked. "On a scale of one to five stars, what would you give it? Three being you liked it and four meaning you loved it. Five would be that it was amazing."

"Four and a half," she said without hesitation.

"That high? Are you sure?" Believe me, that's incredible praise coming from a teen who reads so much.

"Yes."

So the next day I was lying on the couch feeling sorry for myself, and I picked up The Sister Pact. Miraculously, it helped me forget about my illness for several hours. It was a quick and enjoyable read, especially if you love romanctic supsense novels. As I usually read national women's fiction and contemporary paranormal that are sometimes a challenge to follow (with all their heavy social concepts and their weird new worlds), this was a perfect book for me that day. I enjoyed the flirty dialogue between the two main characters, and I even wanted to slap the guy a few times right along with the female heroine! I truly wanted to strangle the nurse.

The Sister Pact is a good novel for teens, too, as you don't have to worry about inappropriate scenes. If my daughter is any indication, they will love it. The Sister Pact also contains a good message about body image that could positively influence teens, though this is not an integral part of the plot and not delved into very deeply so it won't turn teens off. I know my daughter will be eagerly awaiting any more books from Cami Checkets.

To read a blurb on the book or the first chapter, please visit the author's website: http://www.camichecketts.com/.

More Chances to Win Saving Madeline!

2009-09-18T11:02:00.000-07:00

More reviews of Saving Madeline! Remember to comment on these sites to be entered to win a free copy of the book! Good luck!

http://tamarahartheiner.blogspot.com/http://tamarahartheiner.blogspot.com/2009/09/review-saving-madeline-by-rachel-ann.html
http://sandrasdance.blogspot.com/
http://www.alisonpalmer.blogspot.com/
http://nicholegiles.blogspot.com/2009/09/book-review-saving-madeline-by-rachel.html
http://billyshercarpenter.blogspot.com/2009/09/saving-madeline.html
http://micheleabell.blogspot.com/2009/09/interview-with-rachel-ann-nunes-author.html
http://annebradshaw.blogspot.com/2009/09/my-review-of-saving-madeline-by.html

Famous Family Nights

2009-09-08T11:30:00.000-07:00

If you've been around much on Facebook, Goodreads, and Blogger, no doubt you've come across several reviews of the book Famous Family Nights. Well, I am a contributer to this book, but until recently, I never had the opportunity to read the rest. Now I have.

I heartily add my recommendations to other reviewers. Not only did I find many great family night ideas, but I learned that other people are just like me! We all struggle, especially when the children are young, but the concept of family night brings so many benefits that we continue to do it. And then at times, the light shines through and the moment is so sweet that we wonder why we ever doubted.

I came from this book with a determination to make our family nights more simple, fun, and more varied. Thanks, Anne Bradshaw for compiling this book! For more information, please visit http://www.annebradshaw.com/BOOKS.html.

More Reviews on Saving Madeline!

2009-09-08T11:25:00.000-07:00

Some new reviews of Saving Madeline have been posted. Thank you, reviewers! Visit their sites and post a comment to be entered to win a copy at the end of the tour. You can be entered on every site, but not more than once per site. At least one book will be given away, but depending on the entries, more winners might be chosen. You may have to scroll down on some of them to find the right post (or do a search).

http://taffyscandy.blogspot.com/
http://ldswbr.blogspot.com/2009/09/saving-madeline-by-rachel-ann-nunes.html
http://sixldswriters.blogspot.com/
http://ggvandagriffblog.com/
http://tcharmy.blogspot.com/http://shirleybahlmann.blogspot.com/search/label/saving%20madeline
http://shumphreys.blogspot.com/2009/09/saving-madeline-by-rachel-ann-nunes.html
http://www.laurielclewis.blogspot.com/

Good luck!

The Hidden Branch

2009-09-03T00:09:00.000-07:00

As I've been preparing to launch my new novel, Saving Madeline, into the world, a friend of mine is doing the same for her new book. GG Vandagriff's romantic mystery novel, The Hidden Branch, will also be out later this month. The book takes place in Huntington Beach, CA, and is the fifth in the Alex and Briggie Mystery Series. But if you haven't read any of the others, don't let the series thing throw you off. You can definitely read it as a stand-alone.

I read this book in manuscript, and I am happy to report that Alex and Briggie fans, or mystery fans in general, will very much enjoy this new release. Briggie is as nutty as ever and Alex is as determined. Together, these ladies make a great team. Knowing GG as I do, I can tell you that she is every bit as fun in person as her characters!

Oh, and don't forget those handsome, romantic Armenians! Not to mention a certain fiance. You have to find out what's going on with them!

Anyone who orders The Hidden Branch on line or in stores before September 17th can qualify for an Alex and Briggie gift package and a chance to win an autographed set of the entire series by doing the following:

1. E-mail GG your name and address (address on her website)
2. Tell her where you bought or pre-ordered the book

For more information, check out http://ggvandagriff.com/.

Saving Madeline Interviews and Blogs

2009-08-30T20:09:00.000-07:00

Several reviews and interviews have been posted this past week about my upcoming novel, Saving Madeline. Comment on their sites and be entered into a drawing to win a free copy of the book at the end of the tour! (Winner posted shortly after September 25th.) I want to send out a thank-you to these bloggers for their time and comments. I'll post more sites every week!

Here are the URLS:
http://www.annebradshaw.blogspot.com/
http://www.utcolvins.blogspot.com/
http://www.jewelsbestgems.blogspot.com/
http://www.janetkayjensen.blogspot.com/
http://terirodeman.blogspot.com/

Agent in Old Lace

2009-08-21T11:07:00.000-07:00

I'm a voracious reader, but it isn't every day I read a book I can recommend without reservations. Agent in Old Lace by Tristi Pinkston is one of these books. Tristi is known for her well-researched historical novels, but this book is something completely different. Both her current fans and new readers will enjoy this fast-moving, fun, contemporary mystery involving a betrayal and a dedicated FBI agent, Rick, who dons a dress in order to protect the heroine, Shannon Tanner. There is an endless amount of fun in this novel—danger, romance, action, suspense. If you are anything like me, you might not want to start reading at night if you have to get up early. This book keeps you turning the pages, and even when you think you have it figured out, you will probably be surprised. For more information, please visit Tristi's website: http://tristipinkston.com/.

Blog Tour and a Free Book!

2009-08-18T10:11:00.000-07:00

I'm doing a blog tour for my upcoming novel, Saving Madeline (http://rachelannnunes.com/SavingMadeline_book.php). If you find one of these blogs and comment on it, you will be entered into a contest to win a copy of the novel! Yes, if you find more than one of these blogs, you can comment on each of them and each one is another name in the pot and a chance for the book. The contest begins on August 21st (or whenever the first blog comes out on Anne Bradshaw's site) and will be concluded shortly after September 25th, when I have the last blog scheduled. Good luck!

If you are a blogger and would like to participate in the blog tour, please let me know by sending me an e-mail from my website: http://RachelAnnNunes.com!

Author's Note in My Upcoming Novel Saving Madeline

2009-08-13T09:49:00.000-07:00

Several years ago, shock radiated throughout Utah when an infant was found dead after ingesting meth she had found in a plastic bag on the floor of her home. What made this tragic circumstance even more notable and horrific is that weeks earlier her father had forcibly taken her across state lines, hoping to protect her from her mother’s substance abuse. Authorities found the child, placed her back with her mother, and sent the father to jail for assault and burglary. A little over a week later, the baby was dead and the mother was charged with desecration of a dead body for moving her daughter to cover up the mother’s drug abuse. All charges against the father were eventually dropped.

Sadly, this is not the only story of a child becoming the victim of a parent’s drug use. In Tulsa, a young boy grabbed a drink of what he thought was water but which was actually lye used in making meth. He survived, but his esophagus was burned away and the child will never be the same. Other children who have ingested similar chemicals weren’t so fortunate.

One mother, heavily doped up on drugs, accidentally rolled over and smothered her child as they napped on the couch. A six-year-old boy in Tulsa showed law enforcement officers in detail how his daddy made drugs. In meth homes throughout the country, baby bottles share sinks and refrigerators with meth containers, and the drug is often made in the same kitchen where food is prepared. Poison is only inches away from dinner plates and glasses of milk. Law enforcement officers wear protective gear when dismantling these meth labs, but the children who live there on a daily basis are unprotected from the toxic fumes that saturate their bodies, clothing, and toys—if they are lucky to have such things. Often these houses have no food, no toilet paper, and no sheets on the beds. The children are completely neglected, and the houses are filthy. Many of these children show developmental delays, organ injuries from the fumes, heart problems, seizures, and violent behavior.

Chief Deputy C. Philip Byers from the Rutherford County Sheriff’s Office in North Carolina writes: "In 2004, over 2,700 children were found in methamphetamine labs seized by law enforcement officials nationwide. Children were present in 34% of the total lab seizures in the United States."1

Some of those children were injured or killed during the seizures. As shocking as that is, however, experts estimate that only a small percentage of meth labs are ever found.States seem to be losing the battle against methamphetamine addiction. Child welfare, law enforcement, substance abuse, and treatment systems are overloaded. Some estimate that over 8.3 million children in the United States live with a parent who has a substance abuse issue. Nearly 2 million child abuse cases each year are investigated, and a half million of those have enough evidence to act on. Some 200,000 children are removed from their homes each year.2

But what about the cases that aren’t proven? What about the children who fall through the cracks, but are still at risk? To what lengths might a non-custodial parent be compelled to go in order to protect a child from danger?

These were the questions I thought about as I began writing Saving Madeline. I wanted to show one man’s dilemma in balancing his need to protect his daughter with his duty to obey the law, to detail his struggle in an overloaded system where there are no second chances for the innocent victims. Please keep in mind that though the idea for this novel was inspired by the numerous true-life stories I researched, the plot, characters, and resolution in Saving Madeline are completely fictional. No actual experiences or interviews of real-life people were used in the text itself. (Neither does this story in any way reflect the life of the sweet Madeline I dedicated this book to. Though challenged with Muscular Dystrophy, that Madeline has the great fortune to have been born to loving and responsible parents.)

Could such a story actually happen? I believe so.

Backblurb for the book:
As a public defender, Caitlin McLoughlin dreams of someday locking the bad guys in prison instead of defending them. But prosecuting jobs are scarce, and Caitlin’s future seems bleak. When her current client is about to walk away from a brutal crime, she risks her career to make sure he doesn’t hurt anyone else. Yet what if her choice means sacrificing her career and the means care for her mentally disabled sister?

Then Caitlin meets Parker Hathaway, charged with kidnapping four-year-old Madeline. Just another criminal, another job, Caitlin thinks.

But Parker tells a far different story. Can Caitlin believe him, as her heart urges? Is she willing to put everything on the line to defend her client—a man who claims to be protecting the child he loves? Or is her trust better placed in the handsome deputy district attorney with his undefeated record in court? Caitlin’s pursuit of the truth swiftly thrusts her into a maze of unanswered questions and unexpected heartache.

Meanwhile, time is running out for Madeline. If Caitlin doesn't find the proof she is looking for soon, there may not be a future for any of them.

1. http://www.sheriffs.org/userfiles/file/Congressional%20Testimony/Deputy_Philip_Myers_Testimony_on_Fight_Against_Meth.pdf
2. http://www.gu.org/documents/A0/Impact_Meth_Abuse_on_Children_and_Families.pdf

Chastity and Youth

2009-08-12T19:10:00.000-07:00

I visited a blog recently where they were discussing chastity for youth. As a Christian, I believe there is no absolutely no substitute for chastity. Youth need to understand that it's vital they do everything in their power to safeguard the sacred power of intimacy and procreation.

However, at the same time we are talking about the importance of chastity, we also must stress very strongly that no matter where a youth is in his or her life that through the Atonement they can be made pure again in our Heavenly Father's eyes if they go through a true repentance process, which is always painful but worth it. Some youth feel it's too late for them. Some believe they are beyond redemption and love. And that's simply not true, no matter the degree of their sin.

When I speak to young women, I always tell them about my teenage son, his friends, and the girls that interest them. These really wonderful, intelligent, spiritual young men don't run after the sexy-looking/immodest girls because they are uncomfortable around them. Or at least they NEVER brought them to my house. Interesting.

As a mother, I would always point out certain girls to my son and say, "Oh, I'd like you to bring her over sometime. Hmm, maybe not her. Her clothes are too tight." But is that fair, judging someone by what they wear? Well, it doesn't matter because regardless of fairness we are all judged by the way we dress and act. (And to oversimplify the point, I'd hate one of my daughters to miss out on a really great guy because she was wearing the wrong clothes that day.) Youth need to understand that at all times they are representatives of not only themselves, but of their family, their church, and their God.

Thankfully, modesty seems to be a maturity issue that most girls eventually understand and grow into.

The Creature

2009-07-29T11:15:00.000-07:00

I have no idea how long the creature had been living under my son's car which had been parked in the driveway for two and a half months, but we first noticed it on July 24. Some of our friends who had come over to swim that day saw the creature, and my husband saw it too. So I went to look, and sure enough something was under there. It was dark grey and black with long hair and a hairy tail. It stood about a foot and a half long, a foot wide, and about five inches tall. Weird claw/hands/whatever. We didn't get a really good look, but it sort of resembled a mink, only flatter and wider.

I tried to back the car out to get away from it, but it climbed up in the engine. Yes, the engine! It wouldn't come out even when I drove the car around. So I opened the hood and sure enough, I could see it. I poked at it with a stick and it scurried out of the engine, but was still under the car, and when I started the car and tried to back it up again, it crawled up in the back somewhere near the gas tank. We got our dog Max, and he tried to go under the car, barking like crazy. No response.

Then I parked driver's side wheels up on the curb to raise the car, and we let Max under, with the hope that it would run away (Max was on a leash). I was frightened that it was vicious animal, but Max didn't seem worried. Unfortunately (fortunately?) He couldn't get to it, but he was really close. The creature started chirping (sounding like a car alarm--chirp, chirp, chirp!) but wouldn't come out. So I drove around again, hoping he'd flee, but no such luck. It remained there, chirping the whole way. People were staring at the car since it appeared to be making such a weird sound. It was enough to make me feel sorry for the creature.

My husband got the hose and tried to spray it out. No result but that annoying chirping. So we left it alone and went out to the back and swam again. When my sister and her family arrived for fireworks, we got Max to see if it was gone. But the creature was still there and started chirping again. A friend of ours got under the car and tried to prod it a little with a stick, but I made him stop. I have no idea what kind of creature it was or if it was dangerous. For all I knew, the thing had rabies or worse. Or had claws that could shred a face in seconds. What if it came out an attacked one of the children? Besides, I felt sorry for the animal.

I moved the car and we did fireworks in the street as is our custom for Pioneer Day. I planned to call animal control the next day if it was still there. Thankfully, it wasn't. Needless to say, we're now parking the car in the garage! (And hoping my daughter doesn't hit it when she pulls her car in.)

We've had an ad in the paper to sell the car, but no one seems to want to pay what it's worth, and now that I've been driving it around because of this episode and have seen how nice it is, and how many extras it has, I've decided we're probably going to keep the car for our other daughter when she starts driving in a few months. When my son gets back from his mission, they'll have to duke it to see who ends up with it.

Word from Hiroshima

2009-07-23T10:36:00.000-07:00

I got word yesterday that my son arrived safely in Hiroshima. They even sent me a picture. He is the third from the left, next to the Japanese elder in glasses. He is going to have some great experiences there, and I'm so excited for him.

I Talked to My Son!

2009-07-21T09:17:00.000-07:00

Yay! Yesterday I got to talk to my missionary son for the first time in two and a half months, not once but twice! He was in transit to Japan and called me from the airport in Salt Lake City and from LAX in California. He sounded just like he always did, and it was so great just to chat about anything and nothing. Problem is, I'm missing him now more than ever!

There were a few challenges in his transit. The MTC had misplaced his passport and visa, but they found it in the nick of time. Then he and the other three missionaries he is traveling with didn't seem to have tickets from Tokyo to Hiroshima. I told him to check at the two airlines in Tokyo and see if they had tickets at the deck. I still haven't heard, but I hope they arrived there okay. The mission president's wife said she'd e-mail me to let me know, so I'm waiting.

He's a smart kid and I'm sure they'll be fine, but as a mother, I need the reassurrance!

Socialized Medicine

2009-07-10T15:16:00.000-07:00

This post is continued from my last one. I wish to clarify that I NEVER meant to imply that all unemployed people were lazy. Yes, indeed, there are hard-working people who cannot find jobs, and they are those I would number among the "unfortunate" who are deserving of medical help. I would also include single mothers among those less fortunate.

However, the unemployed in American do have Medicaid available. There are also laws in place that allow medical coverage for uninsured children. While this is a great blessing for many of these worthy people, the system is also rife with abuse. Too many people feel they are owed a living by the nameless rich. It’s a mind set that is far too casual among Americans today. They think, "That man has plenty, why shouldn’t I have it too? He should give it to me. Never mind that I haven’t worked hard or paid the price to get where he is today. I’ll vote for the government to make him give it to me." (Be it a house or a car or education or a trip or clothes.)

I see far too many children in this day and age who think this way. Is this because they were given too much by their parents? Did they ever learned the meaning of work and sacrifice? Sadly, studies have shown that poverty, reliance on the government, and a self of entitlement is often passed from parents to children. (I have known good people who were taught to believe they should have everything they need with no real effort on their part. Unfortunately, these same people also did not appreciate the sacrifice others make daily in the form of taxes so they could have that help.)

I’m reminded of the statement: "Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach the man how to fish and you feed his entire village forever." Or something like that. This is how we need to approach any handout from any source.

Of course I’m NOT saying everyone who needs help has the self-entitlement attitude. Quite the contrary. Many work hard to obtain education, build business, and work long hours to give back to the community. I know this from personal experience, having gone through times in my life when I had next to nothing.

But back to medicine.

A terrible injustice has emerged in our county. Take the case of the woman who e-mailed me the letter advocating government health care (thus prompting my original post). Her husband works two jobs to support his family and to ensure that their autistic daughter gets the help she needs. Yet they are still sinking in medical bills, while several other families they see, who do not work at all, don’t try to maintain jobs, or are even in the country illegally, receive all the help they need through government programs. What kind of justice is that?

I agree that no child should ever die of cancer that could be helped with medical care, and autistic children deserve to receive all the care they need. But giving government even more power to control the system and our lives remains a danger I will never be willing to endorse. Most of the funds will, like in our school systems, go to pay highly paid administrators, leaving less available for real programs. I don’t know what the answer is, but I believe more government control is not moral or beneficial. We should control our own system, not look for "Big Brother" to take care of us to the point that we no long have any freedoms at all.

Government does have a rightful place in health care regulation, and I hope they step up to the plate, but more taxes, more socialist programs will only bring everyone to an overall lower level of care and lifestyle, with fewer people working to support the needs of everyone. Historically, socialism has NEVER worked in any country to any degree, and I don’t believe socialize medicine will fair much better.

One person on a comment below pointed to Canada as an example of nationalized health care. I’m happy she has been so fortunate to have the system working for her at present (or that she and her family have been healthy enough that no grave problems have arisen). And I will agree that Canada’s system has some advantages, but there are also huge problems--especially for those who have certain medical problems. For instance, there is a huge dearth of doctors. On the link below I read that "57% of Canadians reported waiting 4 weeks or more to see a specialist; 24% of Canadians waited 4 hours or more in the emergency room." Many other sites claim that Canada’s infant death rate increased after switching to government health care.

In England, who also has a socialized medical program, disabled children must wait 5 months to 2 years for a wheelchair.

Waiting for a wheelchair? Four weeks to see a doctor? More babies dying? That’s crazy. And then there’s the huge problem that the FREE MARKET DEVELOPS MOST of the drugs and medical advances. If government takes over, all that suffers. In any application, free market equals better inventions and procedures. Period. Whether you’re talking communications, oil drilling, or mail delivery.

For instance, I’ve read that in Canada if I wasn’t approved for a procedure, I couldn’t even pay for it because it’s illegal, even if that care could greatly increase my quality of life.

In the first link below it says, "A February 28, 2006 article in The New York Times stated, ‘Accepting money from patients for operations they would otherwise receive free of charge in a public hospital is technically prohibited in this country, even in cases where patients would wait months or even years before receiving treatment . . . Canada remains the only industrialized country that outlaws privately financed purchases of core medical services.’ "

So why are people trying to pay for these services in Canada? Because they feel they CAN’T wait for the services, or they want the doctor or hospital with the lower mortality rate for whatever operation they need. Who wouldn’t? Choosing a doctor carefully could mean the difference between life and death. Delays could mean death, or at the very least, months of suffering.

America, for all its faults, has some of the best doctors and treatments in the world, due to the free market. I want that for my family. I will work midnights at a grocery store to pay for it, or take in baby-sitting, clean houses—whatever, but I want that right. I’m not willing to risk my family to government care. I want to choose what procedures my family needs and when they should have them. Socialize medicine may help some families, but I remain unconvinced that the benefits would outweigh the negatives. In the end, you’d still have people paying for the "better" care and people dying because they didn’t get good enough care fast enough.

And yes, Christ wants us to take care of our neighbors. As I said in my post, many of us give thousands and thousands of dollars a year, sometimes at great personal sacrifice, to help others. This money goes straight to those in need. If taxes increase to cover nationalized medicine and that money is sent to the government instead, a high percentage of the funds will pay for expensive desks, traveling expenses, and highly paid administrators. So they’ll ask for more money, and more, until the small businessman goes out of business and then he and all his employees have to have help from the government, until finally there is no one else to tax. That will mean an even bigger recession than the one we are experiencing now.

Health care, government, education, taxes--everything is tied together. We MUST not depend on government to save us, but get out there and do what we can to better our own situation and help our neighbors as much as we can. Hard work is the answer, and charity to our brothers and sisters. Charity with should be kept in the hands of honest and private companies, like churches and other charities, not given to corrupt government. It’s too easy to be wasteful with the money of others.

Again, there are no easy answers. To that I believe everyone will agree. In a perfect world everyone on every economic scale would have access to the best medical care. But don’t look to government to create this utopia because it will simply never happen. I respect and invite other opinions, but we will probably have to agree to disagree.

As I stated before, my heart goes out to anyone suffering from diseases and medical problems. I hope you get the help you need.

Rachel

Some sites I quoted here:
http://kevincolby.com/2008/06/27/the-canadian-healthcare-system-and-its-problems/
http://www.angelfire.com/pa/sergeman/issues/healthcare/socialized.html (a list of links that show how government medicine has HURT people)

Government Heath Care Isn't the Answer

2009-07-07T18:54:00.000-07:00

Recently, I received an e-mail asking me to call my senators to ask them to require insurance companies to cover autism AND to vote for a government-run health care system, since we are all equal and deserve equal health care. I agree with the former, but feel so strongly against the latter, that I decided to write about it here.

I simply can't agree with a socialist system in which the government takes over health care, essentially forcing those with jobs to work hard, long hours to pay for those who are unwilling or who can't work. In a perfect world, where there are no lazy people or people whose sense of entitlement makes them feel the world owes them a living, this would work well, but unfortunately, we don't live in that kind of world.

There are too many who demand housing, health care, cars, etc., but are not willing to work for these benefits, or who are not willing to go to school in order to increase their wages. Thus, everyone isn't "equal" with regards to working hard, and should not receive equal health care, housing, or other benefits. Of course, I'm not talking about unfortunate or ill people, or people who through no fault of their own do not have a job, but able-bodied people who essentially live off others because they're lazy and won't stick with anything. (I have seen too many who fall into this category.) There are also too many executives stealing from the tax coffers, too many politicians with their pet pork projects. This GREATLY reduces the money spent on needed programs. Placing health care in the hands of the government only increases the likelyhood of further misue of funds.

As an American people, we are already being taxed at more than 50%. I only regret that our founding fathers didn't put a cap of 10% on taxes as they originally intended (they thought 10% was so astronomically high that it would never be an issue). A question I ask myself is what right do I have to punish hardworking people and make them pay for my medical care? Because that is what a government-run health care system means.

Better to cut taxes and let businesses hire more people so those people can pay their own bills. And think of how much good people could do for those less fortunate if only the government would take their hands out of people's pockets so they have even a little more money to spend. While most Americans currently give only 2% of their wages to charity, I know people who typically give 15% to 20% of their funds to charities every year, even in this day and age. That's after they've already paid huge tax bills. I'm sure they'd do much more if given the chance.

At present about 10% of the top-earning people pay 90% of the taxes. Should we make them pay even more? What right to we have to demand that, whether they obtain the money by working themselves to death, running businesses, or as an inheritance from their families?Historically, government-run health care generally means a basic, no frills system, where the best care is not given to recipients. I know the current system isn't working well, but I strongly feel government isn't the answer, except, perhaps, to regulate insurance and drug companies, who I agree are taking advantage of the American people. (And then there's the whole other claim that there are many cures and promising research that are hidden or cut so that people will remain on expensive medicine their entire lives, which I believe but won't discuss here.)

Regulation of insurance and drug companies, I heartily endorse, but I believe free, equal coverage for all will only mean a mediocre system for everyone, including those who work three times as hard as everyone else. (IMO, our education system is a good example of this.)

In the end it seems the only certain thing is that we are all born with the equal opportunity to become unequal. What we make of this life is up to us. We must not depend on government to force others to rescue us from our problems. Hard work is the only moral answer.

My heart goes out to all those who are experiencing medical problems and despite their best efforts are unable to pay for them. I hope you get what you need from family and from caring people who give to charities. As someone who donates regularly, you are the type of person I hope my funds will help.

You Know You're a Writer When . . .

2009-06-24T09:56:00.001-07:00

You hear your seventeen-year-old tell her little five-year-old sister that she's going to lay down by the pool and the child says, "No, you're going to lie down by the pool."

Numb No More! Or Close Enough

2009-06-24T09:46:00.000-07:00

A wonderful thing happened that I forgot to write about. Last February, about six months after my tongue and part of my mouth stayed numb after a dental procedure, I suddenly regained 90 percent of the feeling back. I was so excited. Except that like most things in life there was a side effect. In this case, I began experiencing pain from the capped tooth that had started the whole problem. This increased for six weeks until I had to go in for an emergency root canal that had me sobbing with the pain. I had four of my six children without an epidural (labors between 23 and 29 hours), and this pain was every bit as acute. Painkillers didn't seem to even take the edge off! But the specialist took care of the tooth, and though it's two months later and I'm still experiencing some discomfort with that tooth, I have almost all the feeling back in my tongue and gum. I can eat salads and popcorn again. Happy day! Unfortunately, chocolate tastes better than ever, so it looks like I'm not going to drop those extra few pounds without real exercise.

Missing My Son

2009-06-05T16:52:00.000-07:00

A month ago my son Jordan entered the MTC (Missionary Training Center), and from there he'll be heading to Japan in July to be a missionary. Jordan is nineteen and a senior at BYU University, but this is the first time he's left home. These past few years, he's basically used our house as a place to hang his hat, so to speak. He's been busy with school and work, and we really didn't see him that much. So when he went on a mission for our Church, I didn't really think life would be that different.

But it is.

I can't go down to his room at night and chat and see how he's doing. I can't ask him if he's having dinner with us. I don't see him as he comes and goes. I can't ask him to help me lift something, grab a pizza, or pick up the kids from school.

Almost, it's as though he died, though I get an e-mail each week from him and the occasional letter. I've kept so busy that you would think I wouldn't have time to miss him. No one else in the family seems to feel his loss so acutely. Is that because I'm his mother? Because he's the oldest of our children and the first to leave? We've been so close all his life, and I've always been there for him. Now I can't be.

He'll be okay—he's a smart kid. I'm excited that he has this wonderful opportunity, and I'm proud of his selflessness. It's not every kid who'd leave shortly before finishing college to teach people about Christ for two years. I admire him for making that choice, and I can see by his letters that he's learning so much. After a month away, he doesn't even miss us because he's so involved.

But I still miss him so much it hurts every time I think about him (which is a lot), and I don't think that will go away until I pick him up in Japan in 2011. Until then, I've been weaning myself from writing him so much. This week I sent only two e-mails, and no letters. Next week, though, I'm going to send him his favorite raspberry-filled donuts.

Numb Tongue and a Kindergarten Program

2008-12-05T14:51:00.000-08:00

Seven weeks ago I went to the dentist to put a cap on one of my lower back teeth. Later when the numbing should have worn off, it didn't on large sections of my tougue on the left side. Apparently I have nerve damage, which may or may not heal by itself. Life has changed for me now. I don't taste well. Foods I once enjoyed, like popcorn, give the same experience as eating packing peanuts with a little dirt thrown in. Salad, my absolute favorite food has lost its appeal, actually seeming to grate in my mouth. My tongue is often tattered because I can't feel when it's going between my teeth. And when that happens, there's a little section that has enough feeling to cause pain. It's hard to talk for any long periods of time because my throat and mouth feel dry all the time. It's almost like having a sore throat on one side.

Will I regain feeling? I don't know. Some days I think I can't possible go on this way, but then I realize that the trials some people endure make mine seem almost nonexistant. I try to remember that and not complain. Some tiny bit of feeling has seemed to have returned to the tip of my tongue, which means I can taste chocolate. Not like before, but enough that it's enjoyable to some extent. If the feeling does return, this will make an interesting experience to write about one day, but not now. Now I'm still too upset and frustrated about it. Some days are worse than others of course. Today is a good day.

You see, I went to see my kindergartener in her school program. She was adorable, and I felt grateful she is able to attend a school that teaches the real meaning of Christmas and the importance of our Savior in her life. That made today very nice.

Little Louie

2008-07-21T16:47:00.000-07:00

My ex-sister-in-law's youngest child drowned in Arizona yesterday. He went outside and fell into the backyard pool while his father was sleeping. Somehow the gate had been left open. I've been stunned since I heard last night. His seven siblings (my nieces and nephews--two of whom used to live with me) are devastated. And his parents, of course. My poor sister (I still think of her as my sister), and the child's father--it's something he'll have to live with forever. Yesterday in church I gave a lesson on finding consolation and hope after the death of a loved one. How ironic. We all understand that Louie is in the arms of his Father in Heaven right now, and I know the family will come through this in faith, but it's not going to be easy. My thoughts and prayers are with them.

Seven Random Things

2008-03-06T09:21:00.000-08:00

I was challenged by Rachelle (see third comment to previous post) to post seven random unknown facts about myself. So here goes.

1) I love watching Stargate SGI.

2) I have always wanted to wear hats, but I look so odd in them that I don't. But I still plan to find the right hat. Because I'm an author, I am allowed weirdness.

3) It may sound cranky and bah-humbugish, but one of my pet peeves is when parents make their children record cutsey (and often unintelligible) messages on their answering machines. There has only been one message by a child that I didn't roll my eyes at and wait impatiently as it finished. This was recorded by my friend Anita Stansfield's son John, who was a teenager at the time. It said something like this: "Mom's in some country nobody can prounce and the rest of us are too lazy to pick up the phone. Leave a message." Since Anita is a writer and she was working on a book set in a foreign country, I thought this was appropriate. It was also short. James Loveland, a man I admire once said, "Be bold, be brilliant, be brief" and I believe in this wholeheartely, especially when it comes to telephone messages.

4) I love the smell of the rain on the pavement.

5) Sometimes in the next few years I plan to buy a tiny house or apartment in Portugal and live there part of every year. After my children grow up, I plan to stay there all winter. Goodbye snow!

6) I personally mop my kitchen floor ONLY when my mother-in-law comes to visit. Unfortunately for my floor she lives in Europe (Portugal). For now my floor is in the hands of my sixteen-year-old daughter whose bedroom is usually so messy you can't find the carpet.

7) My favorite sleeping position in on my left side, but I try to sleep on my right to even out the sleep wrinkles on my face. (You probably only understand this if you are over thirty.)

Goodbye Contacts!

2008-01-15T15:36:00.000-08:00

Ever since middle school I've worn glasses or contacts, but last week I had lasik eye surgery. I didn't take the decision lightly. I'd considered it for years, but always the idea of someone cutting into my eyes, my most precious body parts, was too much for me to accept. (And the expense was challenging, too.) So I decided I was fine wearing contacts. Then one day a year or so ago, my eyes, quite on their own, decided they hated contacts and were through wearing them. By six each evening, my eyes felt like I had been groveling in sand all day. So I began wearing contacts only when I went out, using my backup glasses at home. I even got a new trendy pair and some prescription sunglasses as well. But the glasses gave me constant headaches, and I hated them. At the same time I was starting to lose my close vision, so I'd have to take off my glasses to read. I was miserable.

I did research about Lasik and discovered that two of my friends had gone to Hoopes Vision. Hoopes seemed to have a great reputation, so last October I went in for a consultation. I particularly wanted to learn more about monovision, which is essentially correcting one eye a little less than the other so it can still read while the other can see farther away. I knew this was my best option. I was a perfect candidate for Lasik.

I had to wait until January for our cafeteria plan to be back in action, and it was a long wait. Now that I'd decided to go for it, I just wanted it over! But December found me sick with whooping cough, and when the surgery date rolled around, I was considering putting it off, since I still wasn't a hundred percent well. I also had stye starting in my left eye! After some discussion with my doctor and my husband, I realized that I was searching for a way to put off surgery because I was so mind-boggling scared. Besides, I wouldn't likely be much better two weeks from then anyway (the way my luck has been going of late). Plus, they'd never had anyone lose their sight from Lasik. So what was I waiting for? It was now or never.

The surgery was easy, really. Not scary at all. No shots or knives, but a flap created by a laser, and then another laser to finish off the process. One surprise is that I hadn't been prepared to be almost completely blind the first day—I saw nothing but fog. But even seeing that much calmed my fear of being blind! The recovery period was longer than I'd expected, though there was never any pain. I just felt like there was sand in my eyes, and I was used to that with my contacts! I had to use more eye drops than expected as well (I'm still putting them in every hour), and my left eye had a red pressure mark (still has a bit after a week), but that is all only temporary. A very small price to pay for vision.

It's been a week. Not only am I feeling better than I have in months, I can read, drive, write on my computer, and do everything without glasses or contacts. Sometimes I forget and think I have to take out or put in my contacts, and then I laugh as I realize I'm free from all that. At least for now! Perhaps forever. My one regret: that I didn't get the surgery earlier.

I Can See the Sun Again!

2007-12-29T21:49:00.000-08:00

The sun is shining again. Okay, it's not, actually, but I feel like it is. I've come out of a four-week bout of whooping cough (pertussis), and suffice to say that it got worse before it got better. The only thing remaining is a bit of a headache at night and in the morning, along with a light cold. I'll take that any day!

I sent no Christmas cards or Christmas letters this year. I was too busy surviving, and I almost didn't get out to buy gifts for the children. But Santa miraculously found the Wii they wanted, so I was covered.

I'm excited about the coming new year. Yes, it's an author's dream: a fresh, clean page to write on! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

I Hate Snow

2007-12-10T10:50:00.001-08:00

I hate snow. I really do. I didn’t used to hate it as a child. It was only mildly annoying because I’d have to put on shoes and a coat (though that was nice because I didn’t have to comb my hair). Yes, snow is fun to play in and beautiful at times to behold. Problem is that no matter how you dress up, it’s cold, and I don’t like being cold. I’ve never liked being cold. Give me heat any time!

Heat brings to mind sandy beaches, romance, and a stack of new books waiting for me to read. Cold is hands too frozen to unzip my coat. With toes that resemble chunks of ice. Snow is big puffy coats and gloves that make us look like the rotund Michelin tire mascot or the giant Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, the nemesis in the movie Ghostbusters. (Of course, marshmallows remind me of hot chocolate, which I love, but I’d rather sip hot chocolate from a mug at a beach condo than from a thermos at the ski resort any day.)

As a parent of teens, my dislike of snow has now evolved into open animosity. Some days I can be seen shaking my fist at the falling flakes as I stand freezing on the porch. Why? I’ll give you one hint: driving and teens. Have you ever waited up wondering if your child was going to make it home from work or school through the storm? Have you ever passed your son booking carelessly down a hill that is so slippery for your car can’t even make it to the top. Have you ever driven with a daughter who seems to have no consciousness of the speed limit? If so, you’ll hate snow too—at least until they’re all grown up and gone from home. If you have six children like me, that’ll be right about the time you’ll start worrying about slipping on the ice and breaking a hip.

You've Got To Be Kidding!

2007-12-10T10:19:00.000-08:00

You won't believe this. I didn't. I've been diagnosed with pertussis, commonly called whooping cough. Apparently the immunization I had as a child is no longer doing its job! Fortunately, I caught the disease during the early stages and took a specific antibiotic which not only makes it so I can’t pass it on to others, it may considerably lessen the recovery period. Normally, pertussis takes from four to eight weeks to run its entire course. The disease starts with cold-like symptoms, and usually by the time you suspect that something is seriously wrong, it’s too late to do much about it.

The day before I started feeling symptoms, the family I got it from called me and told me they suspected they had pertussis because they’d been sick for weeks and a family in their neighborhood, who had contact with their children, had been positively diagnosed with the disease. Still, I wasn’t at all worried. After all, I’d had my share of illness recently (see previous entry). Whooping cough was definitely not on my agenda.

The next day I started feel achy and stuffy, and after another day I went into the doctor and told him I’d been exposed to whooping cough, mostly because the mother of that family was feeling so worried and guilty. I began taking the antibiotic, even though I’d be finished with it before the blood test came back. I’ve never been a big believer in fixing what isn’t broken, but the threat of eight weeks recovery helped me make the choice!

Good thing I did. The tests came back positive. I was stunned. My cold symptoms had slowly become a bit better, and I hadn’t started coughing horribly. I was weak and tired, but that’s normal for a cold. Yikes! Since then the coughing has stepped up more, but at least I’m not contagious. I’m praying my children and husband don’t get this. If any of them start to feel achy with a cold, I’m taking them in. Meanwhile, I’ll just sit here and cough for a few more weeks.

A Scary Night

2007-11-08T22:06:00.000-08:00

Well I ended up riding in an ambulance to the hospital last night. It's a long story, but basically I'd been having chest pain and difficulty in breathing since 1:00 o'clock on Tuesday, and when my arms went numb last night when I was nearly asleep, I pretty much thought I was dying. It was just like on TV when the room sort of looked like I was staring through the wrong side of a pair of binoculars. I was shaking, nauseated and dizzy. I couldn't stand. It was horrible.

"I'm dying," I say to my husband. "Call someone!"

"Who?"

"911."

Seems like it takes forever for them to come, even though I'm dying. What are my children going to do without a mother? "Please don't let me die," I beg my husband. The lady on the phone starts asking questions and he tries to hand the phone to me. "I'm having a heart attack," I scream, not in the mood to talk about it. She keeps asking my husband questions.

Finally, a man and a woman arrive in a firetruck. They have equipment and start doing an EKG, begging me to try to breath evenly—very hard when it hurts and I'm panicking. Tears are leaking from my eyes like crazy. Then the ambulance and another truck arrive and soon my bedroom is filled with guys—eight or nine of them (PG rescue never do anything in a small way). All those good looking, buff, young guys, and I had no makeup on and was wearing pajamas. (Well, right then I didn't know they were good looking, because my eyes were mostly closed, but later at the ER a couple of them checked in on me and I noticed then, since I'd decided not to die after all). It was all so embarrassing. They had to take me down the stairs on a stretcher since I collapsed when I tried to walk. (I just hope they don't connect me, the crazy dying woman, with me, the poised author.)

After several hours and tests at the ER, the doctor told me I have costochondritis (a type of inflammation of the cartilage joints near the breast bone that often has symptoms indistinguishable from those of a heart attack) that should get better in a few days with rest (though the Internet says it can last up to six weeks). Meanwhile they gave me Lortab for the pain/pressure, which I can only take at night or jumping off the balcony starts sounding like a good idea. I still can't breath well. This so weird! They don't know the cause. It could have been the bicycle ride we took last Saturday. (Coughing, laughing, and any other strain can also cause the condition.)

I've been in bed all day and am still wearing those same pajamas. (Just realized I still have some of those stickers on my ribs where they did the EKG.) I'm feeling all right if I don't move. Ha! Ha! I even read e-mail and surfed the Internet on my laptop for a bit. Being alive never felt so good!

What Are Your Kids Watching?

2007-10-29T14:41:00.000-07:00

"Mom, Mom," my four-year-old said in my face last week.

I strained to open my eyes, coming reluctantly from a deep sleep. "What?"

She looked at me with a completely straight face. "I found a Mimzy." She showed me a pink bunny she'd received in her basket last April, nearly seven months ago. Mimzy is the name of the stuffed bunny in a show we'd watched the night before, The Last Mimzy. The little girl in the movie looks a lot like my child, long brown hair and all, but with the next sentence the connection became surreal.

"Mommy, Mimzy's going to die . . ."

Dramatic pause. Just like the girl in the movie when she told her parents her Mimzy, an advanced technological device from the future, was dying. I was instantly awake. I mean, this was weird. Had this family friendly movie, somehow damaged my daughter? A tremor of illogical fear rolled through me.

". . . if she doesn't get pancakes," my daughter concluded, reminding me in a instant that it was Sunday morning, pancake day, and that I'd already slept until ten.

I laughed out loud, belly-laughed. She was quite the little actress. (Boy, I'm not looking forward to her turning fifteen).

My laughing didn't amuse her for long. "Hurry, Mom. She needs pancakes now, or she's going to die!"

Nothing for it but to mix up a batch of blueberries pancakes, only instead of spelling out my daughter's name with the batter, she wanted me to spell Mimzy. By the time the pancakes were ready for consumption, she'd warned me so many times that Mimzy was dying, that I was quite sick of hearing it and actually started wishing that Mimzy WOULD die.

Oh, wait. Mimzy's a stuffed animal.

That thing goes practically everywhere with her now. I've already had to fix the thread on the mouth. Seven months of complete and utter neglect and now the bunny is center stage.

The power of film. I'm really am glad she's mimicking The Last Mimzy instead of films like John Tucker Must Die. My sixteen-year-old got this second film to show at her birthday party, but I had to turn it off in front of a room full of teenagers. What a utter piece of dirty garbage. Sadly two of the girls had already seen it, and they saw absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Parents, do you know what your children are watching?

Vouchers: Choice in Education

2007-10-05T23:13:00.000-07:00

School vouchers are a hot issue in Utah this election time. Vouchers were passed in another election, but the teacher’s union and others banded together to get enough signatures to put it to vote again. Funny how that happened. You never see anyone trying to repeal a bond or overthrow a new tax, but this is about control over our best and biggest resource—our children.

I have to admit I’m growing a little cranky about this issue. Why? Because it seems people are willing to admit we have a problem with education in this state, but they aren’t willing to trying anything new. They simply want more money, but throwing money will not solve the problem. It hasn’t in other states and it won’t here. What we need is education on a level where parents are more involved. We don’t need a lot of high paid administrators or bad teachers that are impossible to fire. We need a system that allows children to be educated on a local level and good teachers who will be paid better because they deserve it. I think vouchers can achieve both of these objectives.

My three oldest children have attended both private and public schools. Though the private school was a financial struggle in the beginning, my husband and I felt that was where our children should be. We loved the school, which they attended through eighth grade. After that, they went to public schools. Before school started, I met the teachers and did a little research to make sure my kids were in the right classes. For two of my children, the public school has also been a largely positive experience. But for one of my daughters, the biggest regret I have is that I let her leave the private school. She desperately needed that extra guidance. I see the same tendencies in my youngest and you can bet that I won’t be making the same mistake with her. For my other two boys, I’m yet undecided. Because of my economic situation, I have the choice. Yet many other parents do not. And they should. If Referendum 1 is passed, they will.

Below are some of the arguments against vouchers and my response to them:

Private schools won’t be accountable to anyone for the funds.
Good gracious! What are they talking about? Private school have boards they must answer to! Even so, every school that accepts these funds must be willing to account for the spending. They must account for all their spending anyway, so it’s no big deal. Still, I find it ironic that private schools will only be given half the per-student money and the opposition wants additional controls over that. Give them a break! Private schools are accountable and they make the funds stretch or they wouldn’t be in business today. The truth is they can educate children for much less because they are very mindful of every dime.

Private schools cost so much that vouchers won’t really create a choice.
Well, if you are in the lowest wage bracket at the school my children attend, it would pay for about three fourths of the tuition. That is doable for many, many families, and if you need to make up the difference, there are options. My mother cleaned the private school I attended each night in order to make money to send me there. She felt it was worth the sacrifice. Eventually, to her great regret, she eventually had to pull us out. It was impossible on my father’s teacher’s salary to keep up with eight children. But if she’d had vouchers available, she could have made up the difference. If the voucher system passes, there will be many schools that will make it possible for students to attend. (See below.)

There aren’t enough private schools to serve everyone who might want to use vouchers, especially in rural areas.
That’s what is so wonderful about a free market system. New schools will emerge as the demand increases, even in rural areas. And these schools, especially grade schools will be able to educate the children for less and the results will be amazing. Much like some of our local charter schools that are making education work.

And even if you don't live in an area where there are private schools, our society still benefits because overall we are educating children better. Take my own situation, for example. My children already attend a private school and as I understand it I will not be eligible to receive the voucher. That doesn't bother me because I am still a part of society at large and will benefit indirectly.

Private school teachers don’t have to be certified teachers.
So what? They still need to be experts at what they do, which is far more important. For instance, I don’t have a degree in writing, but I could teach your child or you anything you want to know about writing. Bill Gates is a college drop-out. What could he teach? I know I’d love to take a few classes from him. The world is full of smart people who are better teachers than many who hold a fancy degree.

However, having said that, private school are careful about their teachers. All the teachers in my children’s private school have degrees, but it wasn’t always the case. Regardless, parents actually have a say, so if the teacher isn’t up to snuff, he or she won’t last long. That’s one of the best thing about a private school. If parents don’t like a teacher, they can act. They can pull their child out and go to another school, they can talk to other parents and the administration, they can insist that the teacher be accountable. Thus, parents are empowered. A bad teacher will not continue teaching in that school. Period. Yes, this is frightening for bad teachers, but great news for the many, many good teachers who love what they do. Once at a public jr high school, I met an honors English teacher my son was going to have for English. After meeting her, I immediately changed my mind and put him in a different class. I knew as a parent that she would be horrible for my son. So he didn’t take honors English that year. Turns out this teacher was not only a boy-hater, but a person who denigrated the religious faith of the children in her class. No one liked her, and as a result, they didn’t learn nearly what they should have. What happened? Well, the school got rid of her, but since she had tenure, the school district couldn’t really fire her. She just moved to another school to torture other children. Now that’s a crime. I would have done a much better job, degree or no.

My son also had one bad term with a math teacher who spent the class period railing against the students and giving them more homework because they talked. My son basically taught himself from the book. I had to do some fancy dancing around the school to get him out of that class and into another teacher’s class. After a week my son said, “Wow, he actually teaches the concepts.” He was much happier. I learned that teacher had once worked at a private school and had been fired, but here he was in the public school making more children hate math. Yes, my children have had many great public school teachers as well, but the bad ones are so hard to out of the classroom! Private schools remove that problem.

I also believe vouchers will open the way to pay good teachers a better salary. As school compete for good teachers, they will have to offer more. All teachers are not paid equally, even now. Free market will help them earn what they are worth, in or out of the current system.

Vouchers are just going to help the rich.
Not a chance. It’s a tiered benefit based on what you make. And keep in mind that the rich will continue to have choice regardless, so voucher are for the poor and lower middle class. Besides, the people who already have their children in a private school like I do, don’t qualify for benefit. Vouchers will help those who need another option. If you need to make up the difference, there will be a way, whether it's making more meals from scratch or cleaning the school a few hours at night.

Public schools will lose money.
Actually, they’ll lose students, not money. In fact, they keep half the money for that student. If you do the math, you’ll see that will definitely help our overcrowded class rooms. With more and more children destined to enter the education system, vouchers might be the only way to actually keep our public schools running smoothly. Well, that or double your taxes. I know which I’d prefer.

The other thing is that vouchers is less than four tenths (0.04 percent) of the entire multi-billion dollar education fund. Ten times that amount wouldn't even be half of a percent of the budget. It's a minuscule amount compared to the good it can do. So why not try it out? we have $150,000 more children soon entering schools. There is simply not enough room for them, unless you want to see your education taxes triple to pay for more facilities. I know I can't afford that. Can you?

And if the voucher system doesn’t work, don’t you think the legislature and parents are smart enough to pull out? If you answered no, well, shame on you. Parents want the best for their children and they will fight for it.

Vouchers will lead to segregation.
Actually, it will encourage a more diverse student body. Currently, children are assigned to schools based on where they live, so there are many schools in Utah that have only poor and minority students. Vouchers will give these students a wider choice of schools, which will mix backgrounds and races a lot more than the current system can. Private schools don’t have sports programs. Many don’t because sports eats up education dollars like nothing else. I personally am more interested in education and could care less about the sports. (In fact, if my daughter wanted to be a cheerleader, I’d be horribly disheartened because I want her to achieve things for herself, not watch from the sidelines as someone else tries.) But my son loves soccer so if he continues playing, I’ll likely end up sending him to a public high school. But it will be MY CHOICE, not something forced on me.

Vouchers will involve Utah in a lawsuit if it gives money to religious schools.
I don't even want to touch this one. I'm trusting out leaders to see that the bill is written in a way that will save us from this. But I for one don't CARE what institution gets the money as long as they teach reading, writing, arithmetic. Who cares what else they teach? Isn't that up to parents? It's not something forced on the general public as it would be in a public school, so who cares?

Again, the main issue I see is control. And it’s high time parents took back that control. We should be deciding what schools our children attend. We should have more say in the curriculum and the teachers, not a union or a small group of administrators. A free market education system will increase the quality of education across the board. Look at America. Even our poorest people make more money than in many other countries. Most of us aren’t starving or standing in line for rations. Why? Because of the free market system that encourages competition based on the law of supply and demand. When schools compete for our children and our money, they will become better.

Think about that the next time you’re waiting in line at a some government-run bureau. I’ll bet you’ll start wishing they had a little competition.

For more information about Referendum 1 visit http://votefor1.org. If you would like to get a sign supporting Referendum 1 in your yard, please contact Perry Renner at perryrenner@gmail.com.